★ An Explanation of My Radical Life Changes

On August 26th, I’ll be 24 years old. I’m no longer “newly able to drink” just as when I turned 21, I was no longer, “finally able to vote.” Most of the modern milestones related to age are in the past and I’m now an adult. I’ve managed adulthood pretty well. I’ve failed quite a bit (publicly) and I’ve made mistakes but we all have. I’ve been happy with what my salary is since I was 18 and held a management job at Apple. I’ve been happy with my accomplishments since I was 16 and was able to secure media passes to popular tech conferences and at 18, I spoke at my first conference and at 22, I got a speaking agent and there are so many accomplishments that I’m very proud of. I’m happy with where I ended up and proud of where my path has taken me.

However, I risk becoming a still pond.

Growing up, my philosophy, as taught by my father (Happy Father’s Day, dad!) was that of Budo which is the ancient philosophy followed by the Samurai in Japan. The physical, mental and spiritual training dad gave me had roots traced back to the amatsu tatara in Egypt and he spoke often of the wheel of suffering and how we are in control of our destiny and we are our own enemy. Each year, I grow more aware of the lessons he taught me and things he said to me in our 2 hour daily talks in the car after hard workouts or long sessions at the dojo make more sense as I experience more. Lessons he taught me were first like a cloudy mirror but the decisions I make today are suddenly influenced by what he told me and these mirrors are becoming clearer.

I’ve lived in two radically different places. Well, three radical places. The first is Florida where I grew up on a farm celebrating life as a cowhand alongside my grandfather learning how to milk cows and operate big machinery. It was there that I lost my right little toe which was reattached hours later with sewing thread by my uncle.

Then, I spent years on the beach in Florida surfing with my dad, growing my hair down my back (at 9 years old) and bleaching it blond with lemon juice and sun rays. I wore board-shorts everywhere, was thin, happy and received many stitches participating in extreme sports like skateboarding and surfing and martial arts.

Then, we lived in the heart of Alabama for 5 years where I befriended people who had never left their home town, happy, fulfilled individuals who were commited to their religion, their families and worked one job for 40 years only to retire in the same home they were born in. It was relaxing, calming and slow.

Now, I live in San Francisco where technology influences my life 5 years before my family in Florida starts using it, where marching down the street because you feel passionate about the banning of plastic bags is common and where weed is no worse for your health than soda or trans-fat (which we’ve banned in restaurants). It’s a progressive culture wrapped in the rat race that is a big city and making best friends has been challenging and I’ve had to be reliant on my roots and my beliefs to remember who I am and not lose myself to much of what makes San Francisco great.

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After my breakup with Laura, I took some time off from my beliefs. I went on a “binge” of sorts where I tried hamburgers and tried making new friends and drinking a little more and diving head first into some of the technology that I’ve intentionally avoided for the longest time like giving my data to Google or Apple or relying solely on the control of cloud services or using an iPhone for everything instead of my memory. I tried the San Francisco way that everyone lives and I was awoken to a few things.

I won’t go into details but what I’ve realized is that we are killing ourselves. I’ve written about this before in recent blog posts about the wheel of suffering and how obvious it is to me in the bay area as technology is a huge part of everyone’s lives more than any other place in the world.

I started doing research beyond the philosophical lessons my father taught me as a boy by researching the affects of technology, lifestyle, diet, fitness, television, social and anti-social behaviors and simply how we walk and sit and how all of this affects how long we live and the quality of our time here on Earth. It turns out that I was doing everything wrong.

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August will be one year as a single guy. I’ve been on 4 dates and for the greater part of that time, I stopped attending tech parties and spent more time at home, reading, studying and listening to myself and what my body needs.

Through the research, I realized that the vast majority of what kills us today is self-inflicted. Stroke, heart disease and even cancer are looked at as “silent killers” and victims of these ailments are given sympathy as it’s just sad and how they are suffering from something they can’t do anything about. I’ve realized that all of the most common killers these days are all related to a story I was once told as a kid.

The boy is fishing in a calm lake and only small fish are biting. He sits there day after day, grows skinny, lack of nutrition and fails to catch a single fish. A traveler walks past and asks the boy if he’s having any luck and the boy responds no and that he’s very hungry. The traveler picks the boy up and takes him to a river, then with his walking cane, the traveler darts the pole into the water and pulls out a fish ready to eat. He explains to the boy that still water yields no food. Algae and death are attracted to stillness and the water is undrinkable. A fast moving river is alive with fish, clean water and rich plants on the banks that can nourish you and keep you healthy.

The same rule applies to life. Sitting at a computer, separating ourselves from reality with headphones and surrounding ourselves with people who don’t make us better and bring us up will have long term affects on our lives. When you add stimulants like caffeine, processed foods and high sugar diets, other factors contribute and soon your body will be as dead as the lake the boy was fishing in.

With this stillness, it’s easy and you’re never short of breath, never sore from training, your mind is never numb from solving complex problems and your belly is always full but, inside, your body is shutting down your liver from too much sugar, intestines are having problems processing the red meat you just injected and blood clots are forming in your arteries. Diabetes, heart disease and even cancer can be “prevented” and sometimes cured with a radical shift in how you live your life.

In my research, I started by searching, “benefits of..” and I’d put a food in there like cayenne pepper or mushrooms or spinach and I’d jot down notes then I’d write down “dangers of…” and do the same foods. I’d find foods that benefited key parts of my body but avoid foods that contained more dangers than benefits. I read that people who consumer less than 1 alcoholic drink per day, did 30 minutes of rigorous exercise 3 times a week and avoided red meat and consumed lots of greens were vastly less likely to to test positive for cancer, heart disease and diabetes.

Others who ate anything that they wanted to but exercised rigorously during their adult life also had similar results despite their diet. Simply reducing trans-fats, simple sugars, sodium and sodas increased the lifespan of those individuals and reduced doctor’s visits.

In January, I was in the later stages of developing Type II diabetes at 23 years old. I was only 40 pounds overweight and ate relatively healthy but not healthy enough and not enough exercise for a guy sitting behind a computer all day. I made a change and my recent blood work yielded 98% perfect results for blood sugars, blood pressure, cholesterol and iron and not to mention STD free but I don’t think that has anything to do with eating more spinach.

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It wasn’t enough though. I wanted to do something radical. I wanted to do something that takes me off my normal “plan” and really alter my life and experience the immediate benefits from it. My goals start with, “don’t do X for one week.” Then, if successful, I’ll up it to two weeks and beyond. Here are a few things I’ve done.

• Zero Alcohol beyond one glass of red wine once every 5 days (4 Weeks In)
• Visit the gym 2 days on and 1 day off and do cardio and weight training. Stretch on off days (4 weeks in)
• Cut out butter, salt, simple sugars, simple carbs and milk (6 weeks in)
• Stop wearing headphones to and from work (2 weeks in)
• Stop listening to music entirely (1 day in)
• Go out with friends and make new friends outside of tech (1 week in)
• Begin taking supplements again for a healthier body (3 days in)
• Spend 30 minutes each morning on my back deck, drinking tea w/ no distractions (2 weeks in)
• Spend 30 minutes before bed each night w/ no technology in silence (2 weeks in)
• Stop playing video games (1 week in)
• Drink 12 glasses of water a day (6 weeks in)
• Shave every other day (2 weeks in)
• Lay out in the sun once a week (2 weeks in)
• Cook every meal at home and bring food into work (10 weeks in)
• Drink 2 glasses a day of 100% non sugar added juice (2 weeks in)
• Consume more fruits and vegetables than meat. supplement protein w/ protein powder (3 weeks in)

These changes were all radical. I just started doing them. I spend time researching how and why I should do each thing then I just did it. My next task is to write more hand written letters since I’ve forgotten how to write due to typing all through high school and beyond so that’s a huge focus of mine.

The results after 2-3 weeks of doing most of these are just amazing. For the first time in 2 months, I ate a meal at a restaurant last night. It was tasty but I’d say I could have cooked it better at home. These changes aren’t temporary. I will stive to continue making more radical changes on top of these until the basic ones like exercise and good eating and vitamins become “easy” compared to some of the things I’m about to put myself through.

Through this I hope that one year from now, I’ll see what I’ve been missing. I’ll see what it feels like to be in perfect harmony with myself, my goals and my intentions. I’ll see what it feels like to be closer to myself, my friends and my family and I’ll have the courage and respect for myself to have no fear in anything I choose to do.

Above all, I truly hope that I’m still single a year from now. This is something that I haven’t spoken about here before and I feel that no one is gonna read this far so I can write it in confidence that only 2 people will read it but it was difficult after a 4 year relationship to suddenly come home to an empty home or to cook meals for 1 or to plan trips and attend concerts all alone. Being single after having someone from the age of 19 to 23 (which are very crucial years for a young adult) was challenging. Through those challenges I learned a great deal about myself. I learned what made me tick and was forced to love everything that was great about me and my interests. It was a change that I would never do differently.

In San Francisco, people saying, “single” is different than my definition. People I know applaud me and are sometimes envious of me being single. When someone tells you, “you’re single in San Francisco, that’s great you’re going to have so much fun!” This actually is directly translated to, “you’re gonna get laid so much.” because, in SF, most people are more committed to their work or hobbies than settling down especially at 23. The average age of marriage here is 35. The basic human needs of companionship, sex and socializing are still existent despite the fact that everyone I know isn’t ready to choose that one partner. The result is dating and sex is readily available but having a girlfriend is not.

This has been the most challenging aspect of living in San Francisco and one of the reasons I’d like to move to a quieter and simpler town. Those who know me know that I don’t “date casually” and I don’t succumb to my human needs over finding a life partner. Life partner comes first then those “needs”. This personal preference (not a religious one) has meant that after 3 weeks of dating after my breakup, I soon realized that everyone I was going out with was seeking out a different thrill than I was so at the start of January, I stopped going on dates entirely because I wasn’t interested in “that”.

It’s been challenging but through it, I’ve become stronger, happier and have lost that desire to date and other stuff. I’m now happy completely and whole as “adam” and not Adam w/ whomever I’m dating right now. At this point, I can say that it gets…maybe a little bit lonely but those feelings are weakening and it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve longed for a companion or life partner. These days, I’m hoping that I can go another year without dating, living as a single guy (not by San Francisco standards but like I’m living in an all-boys school and no women are around for 500 miles kind of single) and my goal is to become more and more happy with that choice and meet people who feel the same way and are on a similar path.

I’m not writing this to inspire you to follow me or to tout how awesome I am and you’re not. Everyone that reads this has what I have. We’re all the same and come from the same place and we all have our own path. It’s time for you to find yours and explore it and be madly in love with your place in life. I’m in love with mine and inspired each day to explore my space and grow. I just hope this explains my recent “crazy tweets about health” and lends some insight into my goals.

Thank you.