Matilda, you’re 6 months old. Birthdays will be celebrated bigger than today but experiencing all of these changes in just a few months has been profound and worth writing down. It may have been me who changed more. You‘re almost 19 pounds and 26 inches long. That’s a big change and it shows. You’re wearing 9-12 month clothes and even some of those aren’t long enough. You’re drinking more than ever and eating a lot more than I expected of semi-solid foods and surprisingly finishing most of what we give you. I also see the impact you’re having on us as you demand a bit more in care/attention/entertainment. You are curious about literally everything and want to feel, hold, taste it all but Heather is trying work as am I in the process. You want to be on the ground with toys, sit upright and be in your high chair and go with us to every room and always be 0-3 feet from us at all times. It makes it hard to get anything done being attached to you all of the time but this is all a part of the process.
Currently, your nicknames in the house are Big Chongus, Pterodactyl (as you find your voice and fill the house with high pitched screams), Little Bugger, Baldy (a quickly fading nickname), Little Cutie and Beautiful. Nicknames are sort of always evolving so who knows what we’ll call you next.
You have gone from sleeping every night for 7-10 hours until your 5th month when you regressed to waking every 1-3 hours. It’s not really clear what happened but Heather is feeling the brunt of this and struggling to keep you fed and then put back to sleep. This seems to be getting worse and I’m looking forward to you sleeping a full 8 hours again. It’s been almost 5 weeks after 3 months of fairly consistent nights.
You’ve been my “union rep” for the new BMW Bike Build project and sat looking on as I twist bolts and move parts around keeping track and watching me closely. I make no assumptions on what you’ll like doing as an adult but it’s really rewarding to build things and as long as you’re cool with it, I’m happy to have you with me in the garage putting things together. Appropriately, we took you to a local motorcycle dealer on your 6 month birthday and put you in a sidecar and on the parts counter and asked what we could get for you…a new bike perhaps? Heather discouraged the parts manager doing any negotiation on what I could get for you.
Every night, we have family dinner and you sit in your high chair throwing toys around and eating liquified vegetables and fruits along with yogurt. I wasn’t a picky eater and ate everything and there’s almost nothing I won’t eat. Maybe you’ll be the same.
The only thing that makes me feel like a guilty parent is just how much time you’re being exposed to screens. I don’t use my iPhone very much at night but when a call comes in or a message I have to reply, you are very aware not only of the existence of the phone but of its presence as a notification / attention getter. You don’t have the capacity yet to understand what the phone’s purpose is only that it’s small, shiny and lights up and you want it more than the television which is more of a piece of furniture you can see versus a personal computing device for interactions. The same thing happens at my desk when working for a few minutes while holding you and you’re surrounded by screens and want to play with the keyboard. Heather uses her phone with you more than me but I’m supporting our family through these light-up screens and it’s going to be on me to set an example of responsible technology usage but also be a parent with boundaries and guidelines. I don’t think it’ll be a challenge but it’s really important that we don’t just say phones should be used in moderation while we spend all of the time on them. Your existence has made me more conscious of how I use technology. I appreciate you for that even if you don’t know if until you read this in a decade or more.
You’re not crawling yet but your mind wants to be mobile. You want to go over to the dog and pull his hair, crawl between us on the couch and follow me into the bedroom when I put away clothes from the laundry. You have a yearning to explore on your own terms and an insatiable curiosity about the world around you while being stricken to a life on your back waiting for someone to pick you up.
It seems so basic but I look forward to our 3-4 times every day in the backyard sitting on the patio together watching squirrels, listening to the birds and watching porter roll around in the grass. You don’t seem to mind it much either but Charlotte has pretty severe tree pollen and you get stuffy some times which is my fault both genetically and for physically taking you outside in the peak of it. I look forward to our daily journey to check the mail. Today you just looked up and noticed there are trees with huge branches and leaves hanging and you were in complete awe of the majesty of nature. Don’t ever lose that. Our world is special.
You love stroller walks and you’re growing to love hikes with you strapped to me. We’ll take one tomorrow and maybe this time you can stay awake longer than 5 miles. I want to get us up to 12 mile hikes before you start to prefer walking on your own.
I think you’re going to be right-handed just based on your dominant actions when it comes to interacting with the world around you. I wonder if that’ll remain constant over the next 6 months.
You don’t have an identity yet so style, opinions, cares and debate are a way off but you’re stubborn while not holding a grudge. It could just be the 6 months thing but you know what you want and when you want it but when you don’t get it or it’s taken away, the world isn’t shattering around you. I expect that to change but it’s refreshing that you’re easily entertained as long as your’e being actively entertained at all times.
You’re going on your first camping trip in a few weeks and again, I hope you enjoy the outdoors as much as I do. The woods are where I lived as a child and the possibilities a forest unlocks for a child is limitless. I love the forest and it’s great to share this with you along with a few upcoming camping trips this Summer. Our time together in the woods is something I hope brings you peace and the super power to invent worlds you’ll explore and make your own even if those worlds are just a creek, boulder and a walking stick.
The last observation is really about your parents. We’re surviving. Day to day, things are great but our lives are changed. When I stay at work late or have a function related to one of my hobbies or have to go on a business trip, it’s just Mom doing everything. When I’m at the office, she’s it and I worry about her health, happiness and stress with no pressure relief valve to have someone else to lean on when I’m unavailable. I don’t really know how to fix it. We have no family or friends in Charlotte, NC and I’m here for a job so I have to maintain those responsibilities. I just want to achieve balance with your needs, you mom’s needs and exist as a balanced family but we don’t have that at the moment.
I look forward to sharing all of the great things you will be doing when turning 1 in six months. It’s going to be pretty amazing to see all of these changes in you. Happy 6 months on Earth.