★ I’m Thankful For my Friends…

I’ve been holed up for a few months now. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I’ve been distant. Yeah, that’s better. I’ve been distant and kind of living, learning, loving and realizing so many things about myself. Every night, as the sun goes down, I sit in my apartment and open all of the windows. I look out to the west as the sun sets and I sip green tea and clear my head. It’s my favorite part of the day. After that, I go to the gym or grab my camera and go out shooting.

Today, I sat there for a couple of hours and counted the people who I’ve shared mutual respect and love for in the past couple of years living in San Francisco. I can count them all on two hands but each of these people has influenced my stay here in SF and I’m thankful that these individuals have been in my life.

1. Dom Sagolla – I think Dom sits atop the list (behind one other person I’ll save for last). Dom and I met while waiting in line for the iPhone 3G, merely 35 days after I moved to San Francisco. Dom, founder of iPhoneDevCamp, formerly of Adobe and author of “140 Characters” has been a terrific friend. He and I spent more time together than any other person I’ve met in SF. We spent overnighters and weekends working on micro-projects together. We coached each other. He introduced me to “life” outside of tech and enjoying the finer parts of the bay area and what it was like to follow your dreams and yet still have the courage, patience and maturity to raise a family and be a great dad. I introduced Dom to my friends, helped him the best I could on more than one occasion and introduced him to BT which helped him finish 140 Characters before the deadline. Dom wears many hats but has proven to me that you can do that and maintain your sanity. I’m still not sure how he accomplishes so much while not becoming “absorbed” in the task. It’s certainly something I hope to achieve as I grow older. Dom and I emailed back and forth tonight for the first time in a couple of months. It felt like old times. Dom certainly was my glue over the past 18 months. Well, maybe he was my duct tape. Either way, he was a true friend.

2. Nick Starr – Nick and I go way back. I met him in 2006 or maybe 2007 through a friend. I had heard of him through Internet circles and we had lunch one day and just connected virtually. He lived in Tampa and I lived in Jacksonville. It was nice knowing another tech fanatic who was only a few hours away. I followed his journey and his dreams of moving to San Francisco virtually via his blog and Twitter stream in 2007. Then, in 2008 I took the same journey and my first day in San Francisco was spent with Nick having brunch at Lime here in SF and then heading to Target to buy bath towels for the new apartment. He was my first friend in the big city. Honestly, I never felt that close to him though. He and I are both cautious on who we let in despite the fact that he and I share so much online. Lately, he and I have gone out more and done more things outside of Twitter and I’m realizing he’s a great guy and it’s a real connection. I’m glad to have him as a friend. We chat daily (mostly about technology) and see each other every few weeks. Just this week, I was leaving Safeway in Castro and Nick passes by walking into Safeway. We said hello and caught up. It’s nice and comforting to have that security in someone who knows where you came from and has been through what you’re going through in the big city. Nick is a true friend.

3. Daniel Brusilovsky – Daniel was barely 14 when he and I started chatting over email in 2007 or maybe it was 2008. I honestly can’t remember. He interviewed me for The Apple Universe Podcast and did a great job quizzing me about Apple and Macworld. We chatted on and offline for a while about tech and otherwise. When I moved to San Francisco, Daniel was always there to introduce me to his business contacts and I can rely on him to put me in touch with some of he harder to reach people via email or phone introductions. Daniel is more than a lubricant for my self-promotion. He’s also a guy who’s listened to my gripes and criticisms and even taken the initiative to take me out to lunch after we hadn’t caught up in a while. Daniel has helped me feel less alone as he went through and is going through many of the things that I am. It’s a big industry and making waves isn’t easy. Daniel gets that and is always there to lend a helping hand. I had dinner at his house with his Mom and Dad. Both of Daniel’s parents are wonderful people. They’re kind, respectful and honest and Daniel is lucky to have a tremendous support system in his parents. Daniel has been a true friend.

4. Abbi Vakil – You may not know much about Abbi. He may just be someone you’ve seen mention a few times on Twitter or in blog posts. Professionally, he’s a business man, investor and his “gut feeling / intuition” is what makes him such a valuable business man. I’ve given Abbi a sentence into what I’m thinking about doing and he immediately knows how to shape the idea into a successful product. His process is intimidating in the fact that I wish I had his skills of doing business. Abbi has sat down with me no less than a dozen times and listened attentively as I go on about ideas and thoughts and then he has offered quick, valuable feedback that shaped my next steps. I don’t always follow his advice but he’s been right about everything so far. Besides the advice, Abbi has been there as a friend. He has helped or at least offered to help on so many fronts that I simply can’t measure. Abbi taught me that friendship isn’t ROI (return on investment). He truly cares about people as I’ve seen him work the floor at Macworld Expo and parties and he’s not a “business man” by definition. He’s a human being who wants everyone around him to prosper and be successful. I’m extremely lucky to have a friend like Abbi to help me and support me. I hope that, one day, I can repay him for the hours and hours of time he’s given to me for free and how much he’s shaped my time in the bay area.

5. Justin Leung – I met Justin via Dom in late November. Justin and I are the “odd couple” when I think about our relationship as we enter into February. Justin will text me some days around 7:30PM, “what’s up?” I’ll respond, “oh nothing just eating dinner.” He’ll say, “cool well i’ll come over in an hour we’ll play some video games.” Our friendship has never been about business. It has but that’s secondary. Where everyone I listed above was business first, Justin and I met at a time where I wanted a friend, not a business contact and he and I “hang out” every other day. We’ll grab coffee around noon or he’ll come over and we’ll play some video games or we’ll sit side by side at the Marriot hotel sipping coffee at midnight working on projects and pausing to chat about something funny that we just found. Justin and I are climbing a mountain together. We’re getting healthy together. We’re living life and simply conjoining every so often so relate on a few things. He’s younger than me by 5 years but it’s been great. We’ve become great friends and Justin is someone I can rely on for most anything. Again, I hope I can repay him one day for the kindness he’s shown to me on all counts.

6.Scott Beale – Scott and I had more differences than similarities. Scott and I met at Macworld 2007 and we connected at my DailyTechTalk party at Swig. We’ve been exchanging mild banter back and forth since then via Flickr, Twitter and Email. Scott and I have mutual similarities like photography, art, music and a love for technology. I’ve recommended his amazing LaughingSquid hosting company and accompanying blog to friends and family time after time. I also have to remember, Scott’s friends are more than tech and they range across geographical lines, genres, cultures and age groups where most of my friends are limited to the bay area and the “web 2.0” genre. Scott knows this but it doesn’t stop he and I from chatting it up at events or parties. In my first two months in San Francisco, I would go to the tech parties and simply “find Scott”. We’d chat for 15 to 30 minutes and I’d learn so much about the SF culture but also about the tech and art culture beyond San Francisco. It was enlightening and eye opening. The alternative benefit / effect to hanging with Scott was his friends would come up to say hi and he’d always introduce me. These introductions helped me meet more people and become more comfortable in San Francisco. I owe Scott so much for introducing me to the culture, the people and making me feel at home. Scott and his wife Lori will be moving to New York City soon but I’ll always remember the value and friendship Scott has shown to me in the past 3 years. He’s someone I hope to never lose touch with.

7. Laura Wiggins – Realistically, Laura has been my #1 for nearly 4 years. She and I met shortly after valentines day in 2006. I’m still captivated by our story of how we met and how these two kids fell in love and took on the world. It’s a wonderful adventure we took on.

Before I continue, I’d like to lay one thing out. You, the reader, were 23 once. You made mistakes. I’m making mistakes every day. I know this because I look back at the mistakes I made at 13, 18 and 21 and think to myself, “what an idiot I was!” Well, you are looking at me and thinking the same thing. That’s okay. Listen, I kept the details of mine and Laura’s break up very private. Assumptions were off the wall and ultimately I was blamed for a lot of things that aren’t true. I’ve made some mistakes in life but breaking up with Laura wasn’t a mistake. The past 6 months have enabled so much growth for me and I’m sure for Laura as well. I have no regrets about the decisions she and I made. Please allow me to move on. It was 6 months ago.

Anyway, Laura is my best friend (was and is). I’ve never relied on anyone in my adult life more than her. She even taught me how to love, how to hug and how to appreciate the little things. She took a workaholic with big ambitions and a small brain and said, “slow the fuck down and hold my hand.” For that, I’m forever grateful to her. Beyond our relationship and into the post-relationship period, our friendship has actually strengthened. I never imagined that I would leave a person the way we ended things and still exclaim that I’ve never had a more amazing friend.

Laura and I have now shared two chapters in our life together where many couples only share one. In the first chapter, we fell in love and were an amazing couple. I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing relationship with a person to share my 20s with. Looking back, it was incredible. She taught me how to love and showed me how much someone can love you back. In the second chapter, we have become best friends. I never had a best friend growing up as our family moved too much. The past few months, I have learned what a best friend is and I’m thankful to have had an amazing partner and now, an amazing friend. My preparation to move to San Francisco, the move and staying here would have never been possible without her support and I’m so thankful.

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On that last note, the same can be said for everyone I listed. My friends helped me truly fall in love with San Francisco and the value of such a vibrant and diverse city. You all made this journey possible and I hope to make it up to you for all of the support you’ve given me.

Of course, there were so many more people that helped me but these select few were most influential. The rest of you know who you are and I thank you.

Side-Note: There were a few women I wanted to mention in this blog post. Women that I began dating but soon realized I’m not really into dating anymore or I’m just not ready to date yet. I broke up with Laura in August but I just don’t feel like dating, going on dates or anything related to things you could do with a woman (wink wink). So, there are a few women in my life that have been wonderful friends. They’ve been supportive, caring and taught me so many great things about myself. However, like most relationships with the opposite sex, it takes time to figure out if you are BFFs or something more. I wanted to be careful and not list anyone here instead of someone else or list someone here who thinks we’re “more” or “less” than I portray. Like saying, “Susie has been a great friend” and Susie reads this thinking, “I thought we were more?” It’s just not a good idea. Sorry ladies.

Thank you all for reading. I know this is a long post. I just had to give thanks. I was lying in bed at 3AM and felt inspired to write this. It’s 4:30AM and I’m finally going to bed. Goodnight.