★ “Manliness Doesn’t Just Happen”

AoM:

As far as our fathers go, many of the Baby Boomer generation worked too hard, got divorced, and failed to pass down the art of manliness to their sons. They didn’t take the time to think about what was truly important in life. How many men in our generation only wish their dad had spent some time with them “lying in a field with you making daisy chains and contemplating what it means to be a man.” Well, maybe not the daisy chain making part.

Neither action without contemplation, nor contemplation without action will get you very far in life. A man must learn to harness and balance each force.

Of course it also comes down to your definition of what constitutes “a real man.” It’s true that it doesn’t take much work to look at galleries upon galleries of hot babes of the week. But if you believe that being a man means living a life of virtue and excellence and reaching your full potential, then that won’t happen without a great deal of both study and effort.

This definition also means that studying and contemplating what it means to be a man does not necessarily mean reading only books specifically about manhood, although that can be beneficial. Rather it means engaging with works, both ancient and modern, and people that can teach you the virtues and practical skills you need to become the best man you can be. This covers a wide spectrum of subjects!

Great article! Read the entire thing if you have time. It may sound crazy but I sort of hated what my Dad made me do at the time. Like, “eat while standing and then go do all of these chores and then get ready so we can go camping or to the gym or to martial arts class…oh and here’s a book on Eastern Philosophy and how samurais lived.” That was my Dad and every year, I’d love him more and more for what he made me do growing up. I never thought it was a big deal but a lot of older men would say, “man, you have a very firm handshake” anytime I’d meet someone new. Men notice a firm handshake and my Dad got me to do that.

I notice an even greater disparity now between myself and other men. I do think that my generation and perhaps the men who are 30 to 38 now. We missed out on having Dads. Our dads will forever be known as assholes who didn’t give a shit. Divorce was a big problem for men growing up in the 70s and 80s. It continues to be an issue as more single-moms turn to electronics to entertain boys who have way too much energy. Moms are still throwing out prescription drugs for ADD like they were in the 90s but now that ADD med goes with an iPod touch.

I didn’t have electronics as a kid and my first prescription was when I went to India and needed a booster for some illnesses that I might get. It was important to go through what I did growing up and it made me who I am today. More boys need this…actually, there are a lot of men today that need this. It’s why I volunteer as a Big Brother.