After 35 years as a single man, I’m just 7 days from getting married. Heather and I met soon after Elizabeth left her keys on the kitchen counter and moved to Denver. She wanted to be back in a city and wanted marriage and I wanted neither. Heather and I met 8 years ago mid-December and I moved out of the 2 bedroom house and into a studio closer to work on the lake that following March. She and I both signed a 1 year lease on separate apartments despite the fact that we were always spending time together. I really needed a reset and she respected that. It’s funny, as I reminisce, I have to acknowledge how patient she was through this process allowing me to be ready for a relationship, a house mate and now, a wife. I’m not sure how many great women would have let that time pass. We went on what is now known as our first date before Elizabeth moved out but it was just nice to meet someone new and order rye whiskey and chat for 45 minutes. We spoke more but I was out in California a lot that year. Our first trip was in April of 2015 to Belgium. We had separate beds and enjoyed 5 days driving around Europe together, drinking, eating and exploring.
It was March of 2016 that we moved in together. It went well and everything was great. A month later, she got Porter and he’s been a great part of our life. By October of 2016, we closed on our house and waited 6 months for renovations to finish and it really feels like March of 2017 is when we sort of got married. We had known each other for 3 or so years by then, we owned a house together and there wasn’t much that kept us apart except my motorcycle riding. She fixed that by purchasing a bike of her own and now we do a lot of trips together.
I used to pour all of the emotion out onto this blog and go deep into why she’s perfect, why we’re getting married and why I want to do everything with her the rest of my life but I don’t think that’s the tone of this blog anymore. Most of that did show up in my engagement post anyway.
When I got a car and for nearly every year until 2011 (so around 7 years), I spent either Spring Break or my birthday alone. It was a way to reflect and ponder and feel contemplative. It always lead to a blog post too. :) I’m writing this post from a spot I visited last November. It’s a little bit warmer this time but it’s a little tree house with a tiny space heater overlooking a bustling river with a fire pit, some cooking apparatuses and no cell phone service. The mosquitos and flies are gone and the lows this week have been in the 40s. Heather is in some undisclosed location with 2 friends having a bachelorette party. Even Heather doesn’t know where it is and now that I don’t have cell phone service, neither do I. Due to this, I’m not alone. Porter who thinks he’s a fisher-dog has been standing in the river for 4 hours trying to catch fish. He’ll do this until I pull him out of the after at 10PM. So, porter and I are by the river, eating some grilled chicken and enjoying a German lager. It’d be a little bit easier to not have the dog here but he’s well behaved thanks to the fishing opportunities.
This is a good place to contemplate and just relax. There are a lot of things going through my head this Summer but unfortunately, little to do with the wedding. Heather has taken on nearly all of the burden but she also hasn’t tried to delegate to me. Given everything I have going on, it’s a huge help that she’s working so hard. I’m not going to let the other stuff make its way into this post though. Needless to say, I’m starting to feel very overwhelmed again and may need to pull back on a few things. Not sure what those are yet. Probably say goodbye to the podcast at least and also try to eliminate one of my side jobs. That’s all I should say at the moment.
The wedding is going to go swell. As i figured, it’ll be about 80% of Heather’s family and the rest on my side. It’s not just because we’re doing this in Vermont but because I never really made a lot of friends and with being the 1st grand kid and the last to get married, there aren’t many family members still with us or able to travel. We’ll do a post-wedding party in Florida for my side of the family but I think it’ll be 75 people and 10 will be on my side. Ben is coming up from North Carolina, Lee from Chicago and Dad and Mom from Florida. Chris will come up from an hour south and that’s pretty much it. It’s okay, it’s my wedding and I’m thankful anyone would come at all.
We’ll have BBQ one night, Belgian Stew the next and instead of spending $1600 on a wedding cake for 75 people, we’ll have cheesecakes instead along with apple pie all homemade. I have 3 kegs of beer from my favorite brewery, a few 1.5,3 and 6 liter bottles of wine to share from Champagne and Tuscany and everyone will be staying on-site with us at a Summer camp so all of the guests will have their own cabin. It’s going to be a really great time…I’m sure of it.
I think about all of the things Heather and I have yet to do in our lives. We have so many things to see and experience together and she’s the best partner in all maters that I could ever ask for. It’s really remarkable how great she is at being there for me and I don’t know if I am always returning the favor with what she deserves.
Neither of us have any idea what will be our story over the next 50 years or if either of us will live that long. That would make me 85. I do know unequivocally that I will go anywhere with her and it’ll be exciting to find out together where that is.
It’s time feed the dog because so far, he’s failed to catch a fish himself. I think this can of salmon stew will be just the ticket for a job well done as a fisher dog. I’m looking forward to the sun setting behind the trees and a lot more wood on this fire and spending my last night sleeping alone, as a bachelor. I aimed to do Berlin with Ben for a bachelor party but COVID made that impossible so rain check on the Euro-Trip, Ben.
