One month ago, I took the 40 minute drive north to the district courthouse and explained to a judge my reasoning for requesting a change of name. I took some time to write this because a name-change in front of a judge takes 60 seconds and $110 filing fee but the rest of the tasks took 4 weeks and are still ongoing. After the visit to New Hampshire’s DMV, I had to visit the Social Security office and spend $140 requesting a brand new US Passport with the updated last name. Auto Insurance, Loan, Banks, Utilities and Credit Cards were important and took quite a bit of time. Just yesterday, I asked my work to officially change my email address and contact info in the GAL (Global Address List). Then there are my websites and social media profiles that needed changing (not an easy task).
Now that 80% of my identity legally and online has been changed to Adam Christopher Chandler, I can finally share the news with all of you.
Technicalities:
AdamChandler.me is my new website and replaces Adam-Jackson.net. My email has been updated to the new domain. My beer blog now lives at AdamChandler.beer. All of the old emails, domains and contact info you have for me are alive and well. If you email me at an address from 5 years ago, it will still get to me but I’d prefer you all move to the new one. In 2-3 years, I’ll stop renewing any domains referencing my retired last-name.
The task of buying domain names, updating Google Analytics and Webmater tools and all of the online usernames has been a ton of work!
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Why the change?
My family probably isn’t surprised by this update. My Father, the man who is biologically, ‘Dad’ is a great man. He’s not a deadbeat, estranged or a bad guy. We grew apart over the years but I don’t put a lot of blame on him for this. By the time I was 15 months old, he was out of my life except for every other week and a new man entered my life; a man who would raise me into who I am today. My biological Father started a new family where he has children of his own, a wife and a great job and the side of my family with a last name of Jackson is more or less out of my life. I speak to my Father’s mom twice a year and her last name isn’t my birth-name but that’s the extent of the relationship I have with that side of the family. I spoke to my Father in 2010 when I moved to New Hampshire. Prior to this, we spoke in 2007 when I moved to San Francisco. I gave him a change of address, we caught up for 5 minutes and that was it. His Father, I haven’t spoken to in years and his brother and extended family, I probably last saw them 12 years ago.
Again, it’s my fault that we’re all so distant now but my Dad, the man who raised me was my father-figure and I speak to him every week.
Dad (Chandler) was getting married last month to a really incredible woman and her family was joining his and she would soon be a Chandler. I don’t have any full-blooded siblings. My 2 sisters are half sisters on Dad’s side and my Father has 2 girls and a boy also half siblings. Dad’s new wife has kids who are joining our family by law which is pretty cool and I wanted to officially join his family as well. Not to steal any thunder from his wedding, of course :)
The change to Chandler has been in my mind since age 18. Like my idea of waiting until I’m 30 to acquire my first tattoo (still holding out), I wanted to wait 10 years after becoming an adult to change my last name. I wanted to be sure that my love for my Dad and joining his family officially was something that wasn’t all mental in that I leave his ‘nest’ and also lose contact (like I have with the rest of my family)? My move away from Florida to SF and then New Hampshire showed me how strong my relationship is with Dad. He and I are closer than ever. I’m closer to him than anyone I share blood with.
When he gave me news of the impending wedding, I immediately knew it was time to make the change.
What about the Jackson’s who are no longer in my life? I have a feeling my Father and his immediate relatives check my blog occasionally. I don’t know for sure but I have a brother who is 18 or maybe older that might want to know what his big brother is up to or my Father just wants to make sure I’m doing okay and living life to the fullest. Maybe they are, maybe not. To them, this announcement probably isn’t surprising if they look at it logically but I also have this guilt like I’ve done something wrong, like they’re disappointed in me and that they utter words of “disownment” or however you want to put it. I probably won’t hear from them but they’re in my mind and I’m sorry I didn’t tell them about this before doing it. I just didn’t want to have that conversation mostly because I hate being hung up on while mid-sentence.
I was speaking to a co-worker on the name change and they quipped, “There goes your inheritance!” but when I think of everyone I’m close to, everyone in my family, there is no inheritance. Dad has always said he’d help out if I needed anything but since I left the nest, I’ve been fully independent aside from my grandmother co-signing a car loan for me and loaning me 10 grand to move to New Hampshire (a loan I paid back 3 months later). There’s no one in my life I expect to get property, money or assistance from and I will always remain independent and take care of myself. My family knows this. Prior to the change, there was nothing willed to me and that won’t change with a simple name-change.
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What’s next?
Nothing is changing except my name. Among close friends, I’ve been known as Chandler for years. If any of you find any old social media accounts with the old name, send me a message and I’ll try to change it. A lot of sites like Reddit and Flickr don’t allow you to change your username or perma-URL which is a bummer. The only downside about the change is that I’ve had to pre-write why I changed my name in under 2 lines so people who respond to my emails “Who is Adam Chandler?” have to get an explanation from me and I got tired of writing it over and over.
I’m sorry to the Jacksons because despite the fact you all probably knew this was inevitable, I don’t know if you are okay with it. I haven’t even told my Mom or sisters. Dad (Chandler) knows but I assume my mother doesn’t. The government knows and legally, I’m covered and that’s really it. I don’t send out christmas cards or letters so this really is my passive announcement to any family that is curious.
Thanks for reading and sorry for any confusion my readers had over the last few weeks as you all started seeing Chandler pop up around the web and not knowing why. I hope this clears everything up. My blog readers are everywhere. As someone quipped in a random comment-reply on Reddit 2 weeks ago, “Shouldn’t this be AdamChandler1984?”
Ha.