The place I call home is equivalent to what most of my friends would consider a weekend getaway. A New England home out in the country on a small piece of land, on a dirt road that is dusty, muddy and covered in foot deep snow depending on the season with slow Internet, a power generator that kicks on twice a week when the wind blows in a town that has a population just shy of 1,700 inhabiting 54 square miles. SF is 7 times small but 700 times more people. The town I grew up in has 60,000 people and two Wal*Mart locations.
It’s hard to believe that I’ve lived here for 3 years this coming September. I’m 2 months away from my 27th birthday and, at this point in my life, would imagine that I’d be pretty set in my ways. I’d have a hobby that was for sure something I was extremely passionate about, I’d be pretty settled in where I lived and maybe even be married. None of these things are true. One thing that is true is that I ponder life a lot less than I used to. I feel less nostalgic now than I did 10 years ago.I have less regrets, more friendships but I do have a lot of ex-friends and ex-lovers and am driving my 4th car and living in the 6th house as an adult since I moved out of my dad’s house at age 20.
It felt like I was on the path to write an introspective quarter-century biography on my 25th birthday. I started that project but ended up throwing it away not because it wasn’t important to me but I finally gained some perspective and a proper value of my life and realized a quarter-century biography did nothing but serve my own ego so it was thrown out. Good riddance. It was a boring read.
Elizabeth and I have been living together since a week before New Years Day 2013. Prior to that, we dated since October of 2010 and lived separately about 15 miles from each other. my commute to work is a bit longer now but we both made compromises to find a place that worked for us. I’ve known her now for over 2 and a half years. That’s pretty cool. Moving in, combining our stuff and working on a household budget was difficult. We’re both very independent so each day feels like a compromise. I think we’ve found our rhythm.
I still fail to fully grasp the extent of things. It’s a left-over trait from my childhood I guess. I don’t take things as seriously as most people do. I decided to take my current job and move across country within a moment of being offered the position. No deliberation, just an instant visit to craigslist to start selling my stuff. I flew to SF mid-May of 2010 to look for work and 2 weeks later, I had a few garage sales and as there in June. I make big decisions a bit too easily. So far, they’ve worked out. Now that I’m over 25 and soon approaching 30, the habit of jumping into things has bigger consequences. I just hope I’m not wasting Elizabeth’s time. We’re both adults but she certainly considers choices a lot more seriously than I do. She knows of my impulsiveness. I think that overall, getting older hasn’t changed my swift decision making. Overall, I’ve had good luck with the choices i’ve made. So far, us living together is going pretty well.
When I returned from Denmark, I had a cold that lasted over a week. This was in March. After a few tests were made, my doctor said the only possible option was that I may have HIV. Eliz was with me in the doctor’s office. We both thought it was funny but then, over the next 3 days, I actually got worried. I’m not a self-diagnosed hypochondriac but I did the test as my doctor recommended and waited for results. By the time my results came back, I was feeling better and the results were negative. Of course they were. Why wouldn’t they be? Those of you that read the blog since it’s inception including my other blogs dating back to 1999 (wazzzup LiveJournal?) know of how preposterous any STD is for how I’ve lived my life but I spend slightly more time worrying about my future now than I used to. I say slightly because I still am impulsive and sometimes impatient but I’m working to make more decisions or at least consider things that may have an affect on my future and the people I love.
My sisters are getting older. I was telling my Dad a few months ago that he’s always going to be 35 in my eyes. I don’t see him aging. To me, he’s always the same. I wonder if my sisters see me this way? I was there in the hospital room when both of them were born. I was almost 10 when Cheyenne was born and, 3.5 years later, Marley was born and I was practicing for my driving test. Now, they’re 16 and 13. Cheyenne will be 17 in 2 weeks. Mind blowing. I hope they look up to me and look to me for guidance, advice and that they see my mistakes and don’t make them. A dream that I’ve succeeded in accomplishing is to have my own experiences shape my perspectives in a way that expands my mind. I hope they can do the same.
An anonymous commenter on the Internet said something along the lines of people who travel aren’t any smarter than those who don’t. Just because you can afford $300 for a plane ticket doesn’t make you a better person.
I really disagree with that. My personality is not solely shaped by a flight to Europe. That’s not the point. The point is the more you put yourself outside of your comfort zone, outside of what you know and think and perceive, the more you’ll grow. I hope my sisters find that same path. So many people in my family are married at 18, pregnant at 19 and they’re happy with that life and I love them. They’re my family, they’re great people. However, I don’t hang out with people like my family. I don’t connect with people who don’t travel, didn’t go to school, didn’t take risks or wander strange towns in foreign countries at night. the sort of people I get along with are the explorers who take risks. Very few in my family did that while we get along, the people I’m friends with and those who are in my family are a different group of people with different politics and ideals.
I remember one of my greatest memories while traveling was learning how to play Rugby in the slums of India while in Mumbai. The area felt unsafe, I was wearing flashy clothes and had a camera and did not fit in at all. I made some great friends that day, some spoke english and it was just a fun day.
I hope my sisters have these kind of experiences. Travel can be cheap and the world is smaller than you think.
Something unthinkable has happened over the last few years. I care less about Technology and more about culinary. Beer especially has become a big part in my life. It’s only a small bit of my pursuit to become more self-reliant. Just this weekend, I made pork that I raised, slaughtered, processed, cured and smoked myself. The hogs I raised last year is still some of the best tasting meat I’ve ever had. It’s a shame I can’t have animals where I live currently. Everyone should experience gardening, raising animals and slaughtering them, making beer and cheese and wine.Making your own cheese and churning butter is very easy. So many people I know don’t even feel comfortable at a stove. The art of sustaining ourselves is being lost. It’s pretty sad.
Beer as a hobby has taken such an unexpected hold over me that I’m still grappling to understand what it means. The obvious assumption is that I’m an alcoholic. I’ve taken some very important steps to limit that possibility. Taking breaks from beer, hanging out with my beer friends and not drinking, pouring beer that’s not A+ down the drain because I don’t want the calories and other things have helped me understand that I’m not an addict. Of course, there are both physical and mental addictions. As long as I keep a handle on the relationship I have with alcohol, I should be okay. I actually don’t drink all of the beer I brew. Most of it is given away. Brewing and exploring yeast and various hops has been an extremely fun addition to this hobby. Also, seeking out rare and special beers and sharing them with friends is also fun. like any hobby, beer is very expensive. Some of the bottles I have cost $300 just to acquire. Yes, some of these beers are cellarable for many years as long as light is absent and the temperature is in the 50s but it’s a hobby and I just have to keep the expenses within reason. Things like harvesting my own yeast and learning how to brew some of the beers I like the most has helped me keep the budget in check.
My job is as great as the day I started almost 3 years ago. Every day is a new challenge with teams all around the world. The successes at my company over the last 3 years are too many to list but some I had a hand in and that’s a great feeling. I still do some side-work outside of the day job. That and beer and culinary hobbies keeps me very busy.
I didn’t have a point in this blog post. It’s just nice to sit here outside among thousands of chirping birds and the smell of flowers and write what’s new.I’ll do a yearly birthday update like usual but this was more of a rambling bit.
This blog isn’t updated as much as it should be. This is for a few reasons. The first is that my interests in technology often collide with my job. I can’t post my opinion here as often as I’d like. The second is I write more about beer and there’s a blog for that separate from this one. Finally, I stay pretty busy with work, friends and hobbies. I’m sure you all understand. Besides, too much of me is never a good thing.
I’d like to lose some more weight this summer which means drinking less beer. It also means cutting out more meat from my diet and spending more time at the gym. I’d like to buy some new clothes which I haven’t done in over 2 years. I remain stubborn that I won’t buy 38 waist jeans..therefore I wear 36 waist jeans like an idiot and pretend that these are the correct size. Things like that need to change. Either I lose 25 pounds or I buy the right jean size. Don’t sit in limbo, right?
Well, I’m going to go for a hike and listen to the new Kanye West album which I hear is a bit mixed on how good it is. We’ll see.