To put White Birch against Cantillon is funny. I had hopes because this is a unique case. The White Birch Wild Ale costs $18 which is more than I paid for the Cantillon Gueuze. Either way, this ended up being a waste. Not only was there no comparison, the White Birch was a complete pour into my river.
Cantillon Gueuze
AROMA 8/10 APPEARANCE 5/5 TASTE 9/10 PALATE 4/5 OVERALL 17/20
adamjackson (217) – Canaan, USA – APR 17, 2012
A – Tangerine orange appearance. The golden orange looks like a jolly rancher like sweet candy. Looks excellent. 2-Finger cream colored head that dissipated to a find line around the edges of the glass. I’m out by the river so the bugs are flocking to this beer. Very nice head lacing.
S – The young Gueuze dominates the scent. Very strong, funky and bitter all in one. Floral honey scent and mango.
T – Wow. Amazing sour apricot taste on the tip of my tongue. Bananas and cranberries cover my tongue to the back of my throat. The mouth puckering sourness of a lime at the finish.
M – 20% carbonation. Heavy body with so much complexity. Very dry finish. Slick mouthfeel while in my mouth. More like a syrup than a beer. Very nicely balanced
O – This beer is excellent. it doesn’t compare to the 3F Gueuze or Gueuze blends I’ve had. The funk is nice but, mid-way through the bottle and it starts to become too much.
White Birch Wild Ale
2.1 AROMA 7/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 3/5 OVERALL 6/20 adamjackson (217) – Canaan, USA – APR 17, 2012 The guys at Bert’s Better Beers convinced me to buy this. $17.95 was the price. Pouring into an ommegang glass. Bottled July 2011, Batch SNHBF. A – Nice pop of the cork. Half-Finger light tan head that dissipated fast but left a great lacing on the glass. This is a light dark beer. It’s a mix between brown and red with very tiny bits of sediment laying around. S – First thing I smell is the Brett yeast. Happy I identified this before reading the label which is a sign I’m getting better at picking out various yeast and hop scents in beers. there’s a light wild funk to this beer with some dark fruits. T – Ugh. Um, this is hard to place really. The Brett yeast is way too funky for my taste, the dark fruits taste old and rotten and the wildness to this beer is akin to stale grape juice. Sour grapes, wood and some tart at the back of the tongue. M – 10% carbonation, medium bodied, slick and drinkable from a mouth feel perspective. O – White Birch got $18 more dollars from me. I keep buying their beers. Why do you have to keep letting me down? |
Wow, I don’t even know where to start with this. First of all, you didn’t pay anything for the Cantillon Gueuze. You traded for it, so don’t act shocked and dismayed that your $18 of White Birch cost you more than the Cantillon. CLEARLY it cost you more. Let’s keep going with this.
Are you trying to act surprised that there “was there no comparison” between the Cantillon Gueuze and the White Birch Wild Ale? They’re completely different styles. Guess what? There was no comparison between that Miller High Life and Cigar City Jose Marti I just opened side by side. Imagine that!
You’re clearly as inexperienced with Jolly Ranchers as you are with these two beer styles, because Orange Jolly Ranchers haven’t existed in at least the past 25 years. But I heard they compare favorably with Snickers Bars, you know, since they’re both candy. The bugs aren’t flocking to the appearance or smell of this beer, they are flocking to the putrid awfulness of your beer review prowess.
Does the young gueuze really dominate the scent? I’d love to know how your olfactory nerves detect this. What about the adolescent gueuze? Or the mature gueuze? Maybe you meant to say lambic, since a gueuze is a blend of young and old lambics. Not a blend of gueuzes. The way you describe the taste of this beer makes me think you’re either fellating a fruit salad or knocking back a Corona. Where’s the salt? Does that affect the Adam-Jackson-Carbonation scale and bump it up past 20% when you drop it in? Inquiring minds want to know. I don’t even know where to start with your assertion that this is more like a syrup than a beer. Let your readers know when you find some more of those “Gueuze blends” that you’ve had.
So how about White Birch? I might be totally wrong here since the only light dark beer I’ve ever had was Mississippi Mud, but aren’t those tiny sediments laying around the yeast from your obvious inability to pour a beer properly? Who sets a glass on the table and pours into it? How about that! AJ figures out how to smell Brett yeast in a beer! Nevermind the fact that the beer says WILD ALE on it which would indicate the presence of some Brett.
I’m really sorry the Brett yeast is way to funky for…. you know, forget it. I can’t do this anymore. Your inability to review, pour, and drink makes me want to go shotgun a Four Loko and beat up a high school kid on a skateboard. I’m out.