Year 21-24 (a summary):
I just got off the phone with my insurance agent. Despite never having a moving violation (speeding ticket, running a red light, etc) in Florida, California or New Hampshire and never being involved in an auto accident in 9 years on the road, I was still paying a fee for boys behind the wheel. Now that I’m 25, my insurance price dropped 15%. It’s funny to reveal that this was what I looked forward to on my 25th year. At 21, I knew that driving below the speed limit everywhere didn’t earn me much good faith from insurance companies but I did it anyway for my own safety. Driving below the speed limit may be a nice summary to my life so far. Slow and steady, committed to safety and never taking my eyes off the road. My life has never been short of awesome. Even when things were bad, they weren’t terrible. I have had a blessed life and, this last year has been one that I will remember for a very long time. The people who trusted me and the people who considered me when making plans, those that allowed me to borrow their time and the decisions I made with the help of family and friends..it’s all too much to write in one blog post. I’ll do my best.
“I wish you were back in San Francisco but I would be taking away your new life and you’re just so damn happy.” – My friend Lauren.
I wrote in my private journal on my 21st birthday that I’d be moving to San Francisco in the future. I knew it was going to happen and just didn’t know when. I had always wanted to love there since making my first trip at the age of 15. Laura made it happen and I wrote my 22nd birthday post from a cafe in San Francisco. I had no idea what was ahead of me. I get a little emotional thinking of that 22nd year on Earth. I took a job 4 months after applying for it. I was afraid of the future, I felt underpaid in a city that was so expensive. I started diversifying my jobs in search of a way to pay for life but this was a stupid idea. My ambitions required a lot of caffeine, they required the loss of friends and family and the loss of my fiancé. I pushed it all away in order to succeed. I wrote two books, started two companies, worked for 10 companies as a consultant, did ghost-blogging for CEOs, traveled the country speaking at events for free and tried to be recognized. I gained a lot of weight, became depressed, got very sad and disappointed everyone. I promised I wouldn’t fail in San Francisco. I promised to not fly home to my parents with nothing to show for my work and I promised to not let anyone down. I didn’t but I let myself down in the process and lost everything most important to me. On my 23rd birthday, I was in the worst place in my life. My hands were in 10 different things and I broke up with Laura that day and cancelled my birthday party. On my birthday, I was at my office working and I slept there that night…like I did so many other nights. I didn’t come out of that mode until May of 2010 just three months before my 24th birthday. From the 10th month of my 21st birthday to the 9th month of my 23rd birthday, I screwed up quite a bit of my life. My LinkedIN profile and resume were phenomenal, I had thousands of connections and could connect anyone to anyone else if they needed it. I was a CEO twice, an investor a few times and I ate a lot of ramen. It’s embarrassing to say a lot of this out loud but it’s important that I do. We should be able to admit our failures because those are in the past and we’ve grown since then. In May of 2010, I started working out again and committed to only working one job. I worked late sometimes but I stopped going to parties, conferences and events. I stopped taking coffee meetings with people and I purged my social network activity and contacts. I pulled back, moved to a house atop Twin Peaks in San Francisco where the bus service ended at 8PM and I started reading books, took culinary classes, bar tending classes and invited people to my house for BBQs who were my real friends. I also made things right with Laura. We never got back together but, we remain great friends. She and I both know what happened and I’m lucky to have her as a friend. I’m lucky to have a lot of people as my friends especially those who saw me at my worst moments.
After months of negotiations, I took a job in New Hampshire. I was better, I was happy and I was doing great.The company I was working for at the time was not doing great but that’s how startups work. Besides, my 2 hour commute each way to work every day was killing me and getting in the way of my culinary classes. The man who hired me at TomTom is no longer there. He works in Denver with a lot of my Colorado contacts at MapQuest but he fought valiantly to get me to move across country and work for him. Even though I have a new boss now, I’m happy he convinced me to move. I was already doing great in SF but I was no longer really in SF. I paid SF rent prices and public transit prices and food prices but I was really an outsider. It took me 2 years to realize it but I never left the mountain top house much even when I was my happiest. There was nothing to do for me in that city. I felt held back by the madness that is a big city. I don’t blame San Francisco. I’m just not a city person.
I wrote my last birthday post from New Hampshire. I had turned 24 a week prior to moving and Laura hosted a birthday party for me at Gordon Biersch. All of my best friends were there. All of you were there and I still talk to all of you, you’re the people who I met in San Francisco who mean the most to me. I don’t talk to anyone else from there unless it’s on Twitter and usually about technology. Twitter friends don’t ask how I’m doing but you don’t have to. I have friends for that. I think the greatest mistake of my time in San Francisco was the reason and logic that made me move there in the first place. My logic was that all of my Twitter and Facebook buddies are in San Francisco so I’ll move there. I got there and realized that Twitter buddies aren’t your real friends. Real friends can become Twitter buddies but rarely the other way around. I think my friend Nick Starr learned that as well when he moved from Florida to SF. He lives in Seattle now. If I moved to SF for a job or because it’s a great city or because I couldn’t not live there, that’s fine but I moved there because most people I interacted with online were in SF and I found out that they aren’t all my friends. Just because OKCupid says your’e 80% likely to be a match with someone, doesn’t mean you’ll marry them or even like them. Algorithms lie and so does social networking. I’m not bitter but I am smarter about how I live my life and how to use computers the right way. Computers are not a terminal to your life. Your life is outside of the PC. Total life lesson there.
———–
My 24th Year on This Earth
Here we are on my 25th Birthday. I’d like to chat about my last year and what I’ve learned and I’m going to use bullets to help keep the word count down.
- There’s nothing more beautiful than millions of trees that go for hundreds of miles. New England is the most mountainous and most fertile place in the US. The lakes, trees and wildlife will blow you away. Every day, my drive to work is the most thrilling part of my day.
- The fall foliage in New England is inspiring. Hell, the seasons are inspiring. One day, you’re staring out into a yard of red, orange and yellow and the next, you’re running through 4 feet tall mounds of snow. Ten minutes drive and you’re snowboarding and, in the spring, you’re swimming and fishing and, in the summer, you’re planting your own crops and attending farmers’ markets. It’s so amazing to have seasons. California and Florida don’t have seasons. It’s depressing.
- Planting my own garden has been so rewarding. I go out each day and pick what I want fresh. I’ve never had my own garden and I’m most happiest when I’m out there just staring at my plants.
- Twelve chickens rely on me to feed and care for them. In turn, I collect their eggs. They have names, they’re adorable and I’ve killed some of them for food. It’s an emotional roller-coaster to kill your own food, especially when it is nearly a pet.
- It’s invigorating to shoot my firearms in my back yard. I’m buying a bow soon and some targets. I don’t need a gun range. There are no neighbors.
- My job makes my brain hurt. It’s the greatest feeling ever. I’m challenged each and every day.
- I have done things at this job that completely blow me away. Had my hand in products that are used by millions of people, I work with immensely smart people all over the world and they mentor and help me get over hurdles. It is a wonderful feeling to be asked by your bosses bosses boss if you’ll be staying in NH for a while. “We want to keep you here for a while.” I work on projects that shape my company’s future and I work my ass off to do it right.
- My car gets 35 miles to the gallon. I do a lot of driving. I own a car and bought it myself with my own money. This is the first time I’ve owned a brand new car and I pay for it on time every month, sometimes I pay twice a month just because I can. Wow.
- I eat only foods that were grown or killed within 20 miles of my home. So few people can say that. The petroleum I use in gas, plastics and shipping of goods from Amazon.com is still a HUGE global footprint I’m trying to offset. I’m using more towels that are fabric that I was myself and reusable bags and buying only consumables that come in glass. It’s a start but I need to do more.
- I traveled to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Austin, Miami, Jacksonville, Orlando, Atlanta, Boston, New York, Burlington VT, Chicago, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Amsterdam, London, Utrecht Netherlands, Gent, Brugges and Brussels Belgium, The countryside of France, Kuwait, Mumbai, New Delhi and Agra India and always got to come back to my cabin in the woods on 5 acres of land right by the river.
- I learned about craft beer, grew my wine cellar to 100 bottles and finally have a home bar that competes with your average dive bar. I still need to buy a kegerator.
- I hosted a dinner party with a 5 course meal for 12 people. I hosted a 4th of July party for 35 people, I cooked meals for strangers who rented my house out on AirBNB and I made drinks for new friends and old ones.
- I discovered new music. I’m listening to such a diverse catalogue these days. I have 25,000 songs and many more starred and favorited on Spotify. I danced 12 hours a day for 4 days while in Miami this year and had the time of my life. I want to go to more festivals but am always realizing I never have enough vacation time to do so.
- I met elizabeth. I spend every day with her and our one year anniversary is in December. Time does fly, doesn’t it?
- I lost 35 pounds in a month. I lose more weight every day. Dad is very proud of me.
- I fasted for 10 days and I’m going to do it again next month
- I reconnected with my friends Lee and Glen who moved away from Florida 8 years ago. They live an hour from me now and I’m spending my birthday with them tonight. They are many years older than I am but I think we teach each other things respectively. I lend insight into technology and Glen tells the best stories about life. Speaking of friends, my friend Ben has become my best friend. Believe it or not, I never had a best friend until Ben. This time last year, I was upset that I didn’t know who I’d invite to my wedding as my best man. Who would be my best man? I never had a friend who was my bro, who I could share anything with and who could be there for me as much as I am for him. Ben is that guy and I love him.
- I balanced my reading. I now consume more fiction and non-fiction and current events than I do news about technology. I haven’t bought a technology book in a year and only read 10 technology sites. My life is about reading politics, science, events and stories about adventure. I discuss stocks and survival techniques with my colleagues, not Apple computers. Although, I’m still the go to guy at the office for Mac questions.
- I stopped drinking coffee. I drink tea now.
- I stopped drinking soda and juice. I drink Pellegrino by the litre now. It’s $13 for 12 bottles at Costco.
- I pulled back from Twitter and other social networking. I have a landline now. Call me on that if you want to chat.
- I fell in love with life, my life and the time I spend in this world.
This year has been the greatest year of my life. It wasn’t the 40% pay raise and 50% drop in living costs that I experienced by moving to New Hampshire. It wasn’t the true and genuine friendships I made here in New England and it’s not just the trees and wildlife and lifestyle. It’s not that people don’t pull their phones out at dinner to take photos of their food or check in on Foursquare. It’s that I myself am living a balanced life. I have friends and hobbies and I write and read and learn and grow and laugh and love and do it in a balanced way. I don’t work nights and weekends anymore and I don’t use my computer on the weekends. I’m happier now. You’ve helped as well. My readership has grown considerably. It’s not really a big deal but it’s grown 200%. 20,000 page views a month and about 5,000 uniques come here to check out what I’m up to. That’s pretty cool.
Year 24 was fantastic. Year 25, we’ll see. Thanks for reading.
