★ Having Your Cake and Eating it

Sunset in Canaan, New Hampshire (Feburary 3rd, 2011)

I LOVE New Hampshire. I remember a phone call with my friend after interviewing at my job about how I hope I get the position just so I can move here. In fact, it’s the middle of May and I actually came to New Hampshire a few weeks from today a year ago. One year ago, I was out here interviewing for a job that I would fall in love with in a town that I would also fall in love with.

In my trip to San Francisco last week, that same friend told me, “people move to New Hampshire to retire.” LIES! I know a lot of people who are here because they love it and they farm and live and buy homes here and yes, many of them do retire here. Unfortunately, New Hampshire is only my home while I’m working at my current job. If I find myself working somewhere else or unemployed, I won’t be living in New Hampshire anymore.

Why should geography make any difference in what I do for a living? Isn’t this The Internet age? Yes but I’m not ready to live that life. The life of working from home every day for clients around the world sounds great but you do go a little crazy. Recently, I was finishing up an important project and needed some alone time while I completed it. I worked from home for 7 full days aside from a weekend day when I played in the yard with my girlfriend and her dog. Seven full days of not using gas, no outside contact, no driving, no errands. I woke up at 6AM, did conference calls then worked till 6PM and then exercised at home and spent time cleaning, doing computer maintenance and reading. It was a phenomenal week but on the day I went back to the office, I didn’t feel as sharp as I did when I left. Something was off and it took a few hours to get back into that office groove which involves shaving, putting on my button down shirt and jacket and being quick when you’re asked to make a comment during a meeting. It was a challenge. Little to no contact with people and you lose that edge. Trust me, an Internet job would be bad news for me. I’d go a little crazy.

Why move though? Aren’t there other jobs here? Hardly. New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine are wonderful states and they’re beautiful and amazing. Jobs in my field? No. Although unexpected, a sudden loss of my job would have me putting everything in storage and moving down to Boston into a cheap apartment to look for work. I couldn’t stay here and work in my field. Project management, technical writing, social media, communications, marketing, etc are all job types that mostly exist in larger cities. There are a few here but most remain filled. The most common job type here is medical care (due to our large hospital that’s funded by Dartmouth) followed by educator (Dartmouth) and in 3rd place is blue-collar hands on jobs. I haven’t built a deck since I was 16 and I doubt I’d make my salary starting as an apprentice or journeyman. A move would absolutely be essential.

So, what am I doing getting all cozy with New Hampshire? Why love it so much knowing that I’ll have to some day move? Well, one fantastic aspect of this is that I LOVE my job just as much as I do New Hampshire and, my boss and colleagues have showed that they see value in my skills and I’ve been doing great work. I have no fear of losing my job any time soon but, living the startup life for 5 years means that I have this sort of constant fear in the back of my mind that I should keep networking and keep polishing my resume just in case. My colleagues would say it’s a stupid fear but it’s still a fear nonetheless. It’s a fear that, even 10 years from now, would keep me from buying a home in New Hampshire simply on the assumption that, one day, my employer would find me expendable. What a terrible fear! How absurd. I’m sure that fear will go away after a few years but, I’ve been taught over the years to not get too comfortable because every job is temporary and you should always be looking for another.

Then again, I’ve been at this job for almost a year and I catch myself thrown off when I read a news article about someone who I know started a job in November who has already moved on to another. This happens once a week. Friend A is hired by Startup 1 in July. May 1st, Friend A has left for Startup 2 and recommended Friend B to join in his place who just joined Startup 3 four months prior. Only a handful of my friends in San Francisco are at the same job they were when I left SF 10 months ago. That’s the kind of career path I’m used to so it’s natural to have this fear of “settling down” in New Hampshire. Actually, I remember while at a company for 2 years, a lot of my friends were saying, “man, you’ve been there 2 years, isn’t it time to move on?” At my current job, we celebrated and rewarded someone for 25 years of employment just last week. That’s how great and solid my job is. Assuming I continue to do a great job, that’s the kind of life I can expect and I’m looking forward to it.

Can I have my cake (a great job) and eat it too (stay there for a while and settle down in New Hampshire?)

Maybe I can. I hope I can. I wish that I can be here for 25 years and buy a house on the river and raise my kids here and retire here. Frankly, that’s how I feel right now about New Hampshire.

I never felt that about San Francisco. I LOVED San Francisco and what it had to offer but by the time I was on my 4th job, my 2nd apartment and my 3rd group of friends (since most people move away after 2 years) and my 10th favorite coffee shop (those things open and close so often), I was tired of it. I was tired of the fact that $60,000 a year in San Francisco is nearly minimum wage. I was disappointed that this land of opportunity rewarded hard work + luck but it wasn’t either or. You had to have both and not every person that moves there cashes out for millions. I didn’t go there to get rich though. I went there to succeed in something and I ended up leaving with a lot of hard lessons and a lot of growth as a person. I learned a lot and my experience in San Francisco helped me land the job I have now.

I hope I can write a follow up 5 years from now and feel stupid for ever doubting that this would all work out. Then again, I’m young and to count my mistakes on both hands would be impossible. That’s what life is for.

Thanks for reading.