For the majority of my adult life, there has been someone waking up next to me on Valentines Day including this year. Last year was different but not by much. After turning 18, the day has not really meant much to me both in celebration or disappointment. It’s just another day. I’m also reminded of why I like Urban Dictionaryso well. Here is their definition of this day:
1)holiday maliciously created to make lonely people extremely depressed.
2)a corporate conspiracy conceived by candy makers, rose growers, lingerie stores, and jewellers to get people to spend money on junk.
Funny stuff. Actually, I think Valentines Day itself is worthless just as I feel Christmas is worthless. My family was unique in we never really celebrated holidays like other people. Dad and Mom would buy me things throughout the year because they wanted to. I’d always get an “I love you” from the people who care about me and Christmas Day was great because we all just happened to have the day off to come together and cook a meal. Gifts were a second thought.
I believe Valentines day has just as much importance as Boss’ Day or Secretary Day. This is a day set aside to recognize the boss, secretary or lover in our lives and, if you don’t have one, do what you would normally do and go to work, grab lunch at the deli and drive home.
The fundamental difference between Valentines Day and Talk like a Pirate Day is marketing. Without the constant television, radio and magazines ads or “best gifts” lists that appear on blogs, we wouldn’t feel so pressured to buy a gift for our loved one or feel sadness for the lack of that loved one. This is unfortunate.
Valentines Day to me is just like any other day. I do think and feel that these days won’t affect you if your state of mind is in a certain place. Marketing is making you feel like an outsider for not having someone to reach out to with a rose or box of chocolates. In truth, you are not alone and you’re not a minority. Ad buys on television sets targeted at one type of people do have the power to make you feel that way but the majority of people out there are single.
Last night, it appeared that every single performance during The Grammys was about sex. Sex and love is a popular theme in art since we could paint on cave walls but the joke of 14 year olds singing about love and 30 year old married folk talking about grinding is laughable. It’s not that 30 year olds can’t grind, it’s that you have to contain the ability to write songs about things other than sex by the time you reach 30..then again, we’re buying this music so why should they change what they’re sing about?
Moving on, when I was single and decided to go one year without “dating” which we all know that’s one year without _ _ _, I talked to other people about this goal / experiment. It turns out, most of the people (men and women) that I had conversations with about love and relationships mostly told me the same thing. “A year without sex? Ha! It’s been 2 years for me and that is not my choice.” Yeah, in cities and in country towns, most single people have been single for a while, have not had their lips touched or their bodies in sync with another. Single people are everywhere and it’s not one night stands and no strings attached lovemaking…it’s lonely, boring and endless.
I made my choice so that I could better myself and take on new goals that didn’t involve someone else. i grew as a person and there are a lot of single people who have grown even if they themselves would rather stay the same with someone laying next to them.
My point is, for a society that is so marketed as sex and dating and one night stands and where the top Grammy winning song, “need you now” has lyrics that make me think of a modern day “bootie call”
It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now
When was your last one night stand? Half of you reading this are married or monogamous and another percentage are single and lonely. How many bootie calls have you had this month? I’m not a psychologist but my thought is that we love songs about sex whether we’re with someone or not. We want that person in our lives and a song gives us that feeling but….I think holidays like Valentines day are just as useless as Secretary Day. Don’t let marketing get you down, whether it’s a song about one night stands or a commercial about valentine’s day flowers for your loved one.
Where you are in life is where you are. Embrace it because you’re not alone. Each person you pass on the street is potentially in your situation as well. You just have to open your eyes…
And please stop buying music where they sing about “washing their hair with a bottle of Jack Daniels”, “needing you tonight” or “I’m a pimp and you love it.” Let’s sing more about life that isn’t fiction. Let’s get real.
Here’s to another Singles Awareness Day. Here’s to a new day. :)