★ My Heart is Now Healthy Enough to Be Shared

I have a girlfriend.

I haven’t felt this school boy excitement since first meeting Laura in early February of 2006. Before that, i felt this way for my high school GF. Most importantly, in all three cases of having love and losing love, I haven’t jumped into anything that I didn’t feel was right or I wasn’t ready for.

I don’t think I’m one of the typical guys and I also don’t think I’m special or unique or that different. I just haven’t met other guys that follow my guidelines when it comes to relationships. In fact, I haven’t met a single guy that hasn’t laughed in my face when I told him, “after Laura, I didn’t rebound. I stayed in my house and took as much time as needed to be whole again as a person. I took a year off from sex and dating. I made my heart whole again and I cooked, cleaned, made drinks, entertained, worked out, traveled and took on new career goals and even moved across country. I took the time and care that was needed to repair the pain I felt and I did this both times I lost love.

For a 3rd time in my life, at the age of 24, I’ve let someone in.

I date a lot of people but, after 1 or 2 dates, I will cut it off or try my best to just be friends before anything emotional sets in. I look at things in a long term view. Can this person put up with me 3 years from now? Can I see myself with them 10 years from now? The answer has to be YES at least initially to get on that next date with them. Do they make me laugh? Do they challenge me to do things outside of my comfort zone and have I learned a a skill or lesson from them and do we each have traits to compliment each other for years to come?

I’ll share things that no one else would ever find out. I share more than most people do in their first year of dating. I share it ALL. Oh, she’s still around? Even after telling her THAT??!! Okay, let’s take the next step. Will she put up with my stupid poetry and flowers? Will she put up with a camera always in one hand? Will she lay on my bed and listen to my favorite bands as we disect lyrics and will she reluctantly trust me to cover her eyes and walk her into a room with my only words being, “it’s a surprise”?

…and this is only the first month.

Within the 1st month of knowing someone, we’ve taken huge steps and made huge progress into what I feel will either push her away or she’ll text me the next day and say, “you’re special and I can’t wait to cuddle with you.”

When we kiss does she pause to compliment my scruffy facial hair? Is she honest when I cook something terrible and make fun of my flannel pajamas? Can she hear my deepest darkest secrets and fire back with a secret that blows mine away?

If, within the first 30 days, these answers are all YES YES YES, well I’m going to be hooked.

I’ve gone out with dozens of girls since I was 18 mostly for 1-4 dates. These days, I have a lot of  girl friends all over the world who I am penpals with. Some live in other countries, some have gotten married and a few even end our email or phone conversations with, “I love you” and I gladly respond the same. I tell every girl, “I’d rather be your friend for life than be your 6 week fling.” I value the friend ship of my girl friends. I reserve my heart for one person and only one person.

…sometimes, (3 times to be exact) everything just makes sense and you go to sleep talking to this person and wake up texting them. You say “I miss you” at the end of each email and you skip chores just to see them. You fall for that person and that’s when you know, “this is real.”

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I’d like to introduce you to Elizabeth King. She’s from Virginia and is an Atmospheric Sciences major. She is currently a wind power scientist living about 10 miles from me (yes, that’s a further distance than the city of San Francisco if you drive across it) and she’s in love with the west coast way of life, dogs, kids, bakes amazing food and I’ve never seen her without a smile on her face.

Having not felt this newness since I was 19 years old upon first meeting Laura, I’ve been thrown off by how quickly things moved and how fast I was ready to write this post. It’s only been a few weeks since we met but I’m here to share with you the news that I have a girlfriend.

Those who know me know this isn’t something I take lightly. I’m so enthusiastically excited to share this with you. As usual, I will withhold a bit of the background, details and day to day stuff. I am only taking this moment to share that I’m not whole again because of Elizabeth. I’ve merely added another to my heart that is full from a year of bettering myself until I was ready to let someone in.

I waited until i was ready and when everything felt perfect and for those who were around in 2009 when I went through the breakup, they know I had a lot of repairing to do inside of me and now, I’m ready to love again (well, not immediately. Let’s not rush things.)

Anyway. Thanks for reading. Now, you can stalk Elizabeth all over the Internetz!

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