The past few weeks have been pretty odd for me. I’ve come to a few realizations, lost a few friends, lost a lot of money and then got all of that stuff back (friends included). I started working out and running more, I took a few thousand photos and finally went to the doctor to take care of some things that have been bothering me for 3+ years. Yeah, totally serious stuff that I just dealt with. I gave my mom the list of things wrong with me and she was dumbfounded that I had not told her earlier, nor had I visited a physician to talk about these issues.
Frankly, the first two weeks of being away from Twitter were very challenging. I had done 24-72 hour Twitter breaks quite a bit this year. It was usually after a conference or social event when I got back realizing that everyone was using Twitter constantly and it was getting in the way of real relationships. My plan was to be away from Twitter from the middle of December through New Years. New Years came and I was okay with not being back but decided to kind of poke around on Twitter to find a new way to share things. Soon, I realized that the haters and negative attention came right back into my life. I took another week off. Then, I came back sharing only links and interesting stuff (nothing personal) and I had a FourSquare fall out with some friends that really gave me another negative feeling about social media.
The story, from my side is my sister was in town (she’s only 13). I took her to TechKaraokeSF which is a monthly meeting of some social media people and it’s a fun way to unwind. I went there and it was busy, loud, alcohol was flowing and it was 10:30PM (1:30AM in Florida where she’s from) and my sister was already very tired after a day of walking all over the city. As we got off the bus, I checked in via FourSquare but quickly left after assessing the time and atmosphere. I left just as I walked in the door but the next 3 hours were full of embarrassing and hateful messages from people I thought were my friends. The hate was so severe and uncalled for from people who were friends and professional adults was so bad that I deleted my FourSquare account. FourSquare.com/adamjackson is no more. My badges, mayorships, check-ins and data is all gone. It took me 2 days to get over the impulse of “checking in” and now I’m much happier that when I go to a restaurant, I don’t grab my phone and interrupt finding a table or looking at the menu so I can check in. Don’t worry “friends”. You have only helped me realize how stupid FourSquare was. I don’t hold anything against you and I’m much happier now.
My social media silence experiment began just before Christmas and now it’s been 5 weeks and I’ve only sent about 60 tweets and 10 Facebook updates. Before my silence, I was sending that many updates a day so this has been an excellent experiment for me.
The affects of my silence? Well, I made about 40% less money than usual this month. Not being on Twitter affected my work with clients but also the “leads” I get via Twitter and going to these social media events / parties in the bay area. Am I happier? Not yet. I still have a few personal things to work on before I decide if social networking both as a lifestyle and career are right for me. I’m enjoying this time off from that at this time.
I just realized that the ecosystem is tiny and what matters or mattered to me then isn’t really anything that matters in the big scheme of things My FourSquare check-ins shouldn’t equal a tweet from a friend saying that I’m a liar and a “fucking loser”. Sharing what kind of sandwich I’m eating shouldn’t yield 5 replies; half of them asking what kind and the other half calling me a fat fuck. Talking about going to the doctor’s office shouldn’t lend an anonymous email 30 minutes later with a photoshopped photo of me that says, “loser HIV+ freak” Seriously, these have to stop and I’m not making enough money doing this to justify so much hate.
If I was iJustine with my YouTube monetization deal or Jason Calacanis earning dividends from angel investment opportunities or MG Siegler earning 6 figures by constantly writing about Twitter & FourSquare then I’d deal with the bullshit. the point is, I’m not and I’m too young to be so unhappy with what I’ve become not because I’ve actually become anything these people are saying about me but because their misunderstanding would tear me apart if I let it and life is too short to deal with this even if money or success made me say to myself I was okay with it even if I wasn’t.
The 5 week break from social media actually has no end in sight. I don’t see it as a break anymore and plan on keeping this up for a while or until I can figure out exactly what I want from social media and develop a plan like I do for my clients to actually execute and reach a goal. Sharing just to share is out of my mindset lately. Yes this affects my Twitter book, my side business (tweetformybiz) and speaking gigs but I don’t care. Health and happiness are more important right now.
What’s most important in all of this is to those of you who have messaged me asking what I’m up to and what I’m doing and some of you who are really creepy about it like, “so um.. what are you up to because it’s boring without your tweets” well you guys are just weird! Honestly, my phone number and email are public. Send me a message or call me. I’ll grab coffee with you and tell you whatever you want to chat about. That’s how a friendship is made. How many of you know anything about me? It’s very little that you actually know about me. I think person to person conversation is much more valuable. Read each one of my tweets and you’ll still know nothing about me. I’m committed to social media for business. For personal usage, I’m not sure it’s all its cut out to be. I’ve gotten so much by sharing so much but at some point, you can’t really share any more and the term “micro-celebrity” is what you become. It’s basically that your life is under a microscope and you have more haters than you do supporters and you’re not making enough money to justify it. This is what I was becoming and I just don’t want to be there.
I’ve been sharing things online since 1999. On the 10 year anniversary, I’m looking back and regretting it. I don’t want to live with regrets so in 10 years, I’d like to hope that this change helps me live a better life and I think it will. In the very least, this break gives me some additional perspective into how the world outside of Twitter actually works. I’m no longer addicted to it so now it’s time to explore and live a bit more.
I thank you for your support and I always welcome direct, private feedback and questions from those of you who are my friends. Thanks!
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