All photos taken by me this weekend a couple of them are from last year
For just a moment, I’d like to write about my Father. Since I moved to San Francisco, you may notice that most of my personal blog entries mention him at least once as a quote or experience he and I shared. The two of us are extremely close and without sharing details about my childhood, I have to say that many of my decisions and traits are based off things that he has taught me.
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Dad has never told me what to do or even given “advice” as many would define it. He has always answered my question with a story or lesson. One of the most challenging aspects of living in San Francisco is how little I get to talk to him. Prior to moving, he and I lived 5 minutes from each other and I’d spend all weekend with him. He also operates a martial arts school and has since I was 5 years old. My training regiment was 5 days a week and a total of 8 classes, each 2 hours a piece and this schedule has been that way for me since I was only 13. When he and I weren’t teaching students, we were training together and these days, I only talk to him for 1-2 hours a week every Sunday on the telephone and periodically via Email throughout the week. This radical change has certainly been tough for me.
One thing that’s important to note that our relationship isn’t symbiotic or co-dependent. Since I left Florida, Dad promoted my training partner Matt to lead many of the classes and Dad has much more time to spend with my sisters who are 9 & 13 years old. My leaving came at a time when others needed Dad’s guidance and it was time for me to experience and put to use his many teachings.
This weekend, I flew home from San Francisco to Saint Augustine, Florida and as of Wednesday night, I didn’t leave his house until Saturday to teach Aikido with him and then not leaving again until Sunday night to see some friends. Basically, me, Dad and my sisters just hung out for 5 days training, learning and spending time together. It was awesome.
Throughout these 5 days, Dad and I had 4 long talks and it was certainly like old times. One of our talks on Friday night lasted from 7PM to 1AM and each was no less than 4 hours long. Today, we woke up and I did my morning stretches and pushups and then he made some smoothies and we sat outside in the sun talking about the path and wheel of suffering for nearly 3 hours and suddenly realized it was time to grab some sushi and go to the airport.
Our relationship is extremely unique. I made a point to note that it’s not a co-dependent relationship nor is it one-sided. When I left for San Francisco in June of 2008, Dad was talking to a boy about life and concepts that were simply beyond that kid’s comprehension despite the fact that I had been hearing them since I was 5. What made this weekend so unique is that we were two men engaging in conversation that was rich, meaningful and sometimes a bit emotional.
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Throughout our relating on many levels and exploring the inner workings of life, civilization and and end-game, it was clear to me that I had elevated to a new level of living.
There isn’t a single day that goes by where a lesson that Dad taught me 2 to 10 years ago will finally click and make sense. I have Aha moments day after day and while talking to him, especially on Friday night, I came to a few conclusions within myself that my ego and conscious mind was fearful of admitting out loud.
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Sharing these here would be careless and reconstruct the walls I built before so between you and I and without divulging too many details, every decision I’ve made in my adult life has been inspired by this primary factor and Dad didn’t tell me what it was but during our talk, he helped me discover this for myself and I admit that it was very emotional.
What will I be doing about it? Absolutely nothing. I will do nothing yet everything will take care of itself. My readers are starting at their monitors in confusion but Dad is reading this chuckling to himself because I might just have it and get the underlying point and that point is that there is no point. Ha ha!
There are a few things that I’ll be doing differently from here on but externally, you guys won’t be able to tell a difference but my path will be changing slightly. You may have all noticed my recent tweets showing extreme optimism and thankfulness for every experience in my life. Well, this wasn’t directly due to Dad’s lessons but these were aha moments from seeds he had planted years before.
One thing that I am finding difficult is the concept of concepts and the varying levels of communication and how self-fabricated suffering w/ challenges that we create ourselves that ultimately result in getting further from the truth that we all have within ourselves already. If that sentence made no sense, good! My point is, I find it difficult to convey things given what I’ve learned this weekend because conceptually, none of this exists but it does in our own reality. I can’t begin to summarize almost 20 hours of teachings but that’s the point, doing that would take me further from the point :)
This blog post is mostly rambling but I love to share my experiences with you all. A few members of my family were upset with me this weekend as I haven’t been home since January 21st and while I was here, I spent time with my 6 best friends, my dad and Sisters. My huge family may have felt a bit abandoned like I turned my back on them but last time I was here, running around ultimately caused the value of my time to diminish just like channel surfing. It wasn’t fair so this time I spent the most time with those that matter to me the most (sorry Mom).
Sunday night, I went out for sushi with my 6 best friends. Five of them are guys that I trained with in martial arts for nearly 10 years. John, Dan, Matt, Victor and Ty. I wrote a blog post about friendship a few weeks ago about sharing a “solid cry” with someone shows you their true colors and the value of their friendship. All of these men haven’t seen me cry but they’ve seen and been exposed to my sweat, blood, tears (from being punched again and again) and sometimes, my vomit f
rom training too hard. These 5 guys have tried to stab me with knives, cut me with swords and attack me full speed with four-foot staffs and I’ve reciprocated. For this, these guys are those that I trust the most over anyone else that’s non-family. Once you’ve fought for your life against 2-5 attackers at once, those guys have a different bond with you than others. The 6th person that attended is my friend Natasha. She was the best friend of my first girlfriend, Hope. Hope and I shared a relationship for over 3 years and Tasha was my friend just as much as she was Hope’s friend. After high school, tasha and I remained friends. Eventually, she joined Aikido Class with me and I introduced her to Matt, my training partner and now leader of Dad’s martial arts class. Two months ago, Tasha and Matt got married and now my bond with her is stronger than ever.
The six of us had Sushi, went downtown to visit Victor at his Pizza shop and we were out until late sharing stories and catching up. It was the best night that I’ve had all year. Seven martial artists who’ve been training 10-20 hours a week for the past 10 years were out together for the first time in a year and I’m so proud to have them as my friends.
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I’m the most proud brother in the world. My two sisters are 13 & 9 years old and I took numerous photos of them throughout the weekend. Cheyenne (13) just past week started holding hands with her first boyfriend. Marley (9) has learned how to kick flip on her skateboard and was excited to show me her super sweet surfing shirts and how she can go really fast on the push scooter. Those two girls are beautiful and I was in the hospital room when both of them were born. They truly love their big brother and each of them are growing, learning and exploring the universe in their own way. Both are dramatically different in their personalities but their love of all things in the world and respect for all creatures (living or non-living) is profound and 
awe-inspiring. I regret that I won’t be there for Cheyenne’s first kiss or Marley’s first broken arm but they know I’m always a phone call away and I know they’re in great hands with a loving Mother and Father. Also, Dad has nearly 15 dedicated full-time Aikido students who would do anything for those two girls. They have a huge support system and I know they’ll always be in good hands despite my absence.
The past year, much of my 23 years of training with Dad has finally been realized. I’ve been in a few fights both physically and intellectual and I’ve had to support myself and a few friends and have used Dad’s teachings to bring everyone I know, including 
me to another level. I know Dad is proud of me but this weekend, a few things were realized that meant a lot to me.
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On Saturday, I attended both Aikido kid’s classes as an assistant instructor and then helped with the adult class. It was 6 hours of training and it felt as if I had never left. My continued training both mental and physical allowed me to step in and act 
as if things were the same as they were over a year and a half ago when I moved to San Francisco.
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After class, Dad and I were drinking some green tea and he said some things to me that connected the dots. There were three things mentioned that discussed where I was and where I am now and my interaction with people and leadership skills as well as my skills in conveying the thousands of lessons he’s taught me over the years but finally not just reciting things he’s told me but leading someone to their own conclusions using concepts, analogies and lessons that show them the light switch but allow them to turn it on. The things he told to me were validating and made me smile.
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I strive to live life with no ups or downs and lately, I’ve had some missteps at doing this but, this weekend I was able to do a good job despite the roller coaster of seeing everyone and learning many new lessons from Dad.
One last thing that’s apparent to me is that having a child is truly remarkable and life changing but it’s not something to be taken as the purchase of a new house or car or a marriage. Fatherhood is life changing but only something you undertake if you are truly ready both physically and mentally and you must at least be on the path to ultimate awareness and off the wheel of suffering. Recounting how much time Dad has spent with me and my two sisters and it’s clear that his efforts paid off in so many ways so I am sure that when / if I have children, I’ll alter my life to make the child my #1 priority.
It’s an honor to be a parent and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You are directly contributing to the next generation of people on this Earth. Everything is constantly in motion so you should be as well.
My weekend back home was nothing short of epic and I owe many thanks to be put on this Earth with so many awe inspiring people and with the opportunity to both experience many terrific things but also share them with you via this medium. As always, I thank you all for reading and the time you took to share in my experiences.
Full Photo Set