{"id":4015,"date":"2014-02-27T20:07:46","date_gmt":"2014-02-27T20:07:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adam-jackson.net\/blog\/?p=4015"},"modified":"2014-02-27T20:07:46","modified_gmt":"2014-02-27T20:07:46","slug":"life-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2014\/02\/27\/life-single\/","title":{"rendered":"Life: Single"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:8858,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/adam-jackson.net\\\/blog\\\/2011\\\/01\\\/07\\\/my-heart-is-now-healthy-enough-to-be-shared&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8859,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/adam-jackson.net\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/01\\\/02\\\/our-new-home-a-few-photos&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>When people know me through this blog, there\u2019s a lot of daily moments that are lost and I am terrible at documenting those. I\u2019ve also matured over the years where everything isn\u2019t shared with the Internet. The infrequent posts here are all I have.<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow on February 28th, Elizabeth is moving to Denver. There has been a sort of slow deterioration of our relationship but she\u2019s departing for reasons that are bigger than us and you can read into that any way that seems appropriate. We met in <a href=\"http:\/\/adam-jackson.net\/blog\/2011\/01\/07\/my-heart-is-now-healthy-enough-to-be-shared\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">October of 2010, became a couple in December<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/adam-jackson.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/02\/our-new-home-a-few-photos\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">moved in together 2 years later in January of 2013<\/a>. It\u2019s not healthy to analyze what went wrong today and I\u2019m sure over time, I\u2019ll be able to step back and realize the mistakes that were made to lead to this but right now, I see both of us at fault in various ways. There were emotional to mental disconnects and as we both approach 30 years old, life goals that were also not aligned.<\/p>\n<p>As of October of 2013, things changed and in December, she started looking elsewhere for employment, anywhere it seemed that was in her industry. I don\u2019t think she was escaping but so long in Vermont had some effects that I couldn\u2019t counteract and I admit that I also didn\u2019t really put up a fight when she told me it was time to move somewhere new. I\u2019ve moved before in the midst of relationships, I\u2019ve sold it all and chased a job opportunity so I understand and can relate to her decision. In a week, she\u2019ll start a new job at a new company in a brand new city higher up in the mountains in the industry she loves and she\u2019s so happy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I haven\u2019t actually realized she\u2019s leaving yet at the emotional level. I\u2019m traveling a lot from work, typing this from a cafe in Sunnyvale California while she packs up her entire life and loads it on to a moving truck 2,700 miles away with her Dad. I set my own travel dates but this wasn\u2019t an intentional band-aid moment for me it just happened to work out like this. I\u2019m emotionally and physically unavailable while she embarks on a move that will separate us as a couple and geographically. Maybe it\u2019s better this way? Again, I really have no idea at this time. I left for this trip a week ago and we grabbed burgers at one of our favorite local restaurants (an hour away sadly) and said goodbye. I played with Goomba and gave her a hug and that was it. It\u2019s weird that she\u2019s leaving and I left first like it was not planned but just worked out that way.<\/p>\n<p>The thing is, I have always done things this way. Take a literal and planned approach, strip away the emotion and carry out the task and usually it\u2019s 6-12 months after my actions do I feel a bit of happiness or sadness about them. Fight or Flight is maybe the best way to describe it but it\u2019s in everything I do. I\u2019ve been working on amazing projects at work and haven\u2019t had a celebratory champagne yet and when people ask about Elizabeth\u2019s move, I just sort of shrug. There\u2019s no point in getting upset but it\u2019s important to realize my life is different now. My house rent went up, my bills are doubling and my house will be empty. Messes are mine to clean up 100%, if something breaks or is missing, I\u2019m to blame. I\u2019m back to being self-sufficient which I enjoy a lot.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I have asked around on getting a roommate to help cover my bills. I travel 3 weeks a month, work from home other days and spend my evenings tasting beers with strangers at festivals, breweries and homes. I have some friends in the area now and I run my Beer Meetup Group so I\u2019m busy and a roommate won\u2019t see much of me. It\u2019s something I\u2019m seriously considering but can\u2019t say for sure if I\u2019m excited about the notion at this time. Having more of my paycheck is the only driving factor.<\/p>\n<p>As for what\u2019s next in my dating life, I don\u2019t really have any plans. I\u2019ve actually spent the last year on even deeper introspection of who I am and the term \u201cgraysexual\u201d comes up a lot. Or that I\u2019m asexual except for with people I greatly love or that I\u2019m asexual but with the desire to nest with someone of the opposite sex and that\u2019s it. I don\u2019t have many male friends, all of my friends are girls who I love but nothing more. I don\u2019t really date, I don\u2019t think about girls or romanticize about any marriage, dating or kids. So I think it\u2019ll be healthy to sort of spend the next year analyzing these feelings deeper and of course focusing on work even more. Run more, eat more salads and go on non work related trips.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll be going to Europe for a vacation in April with a friend. I\u2019d like to get a dog but my travel schedule is too insane so my house is now dog-less which does suck cause dogs are awesome. Maybe I\u2019ll get back into volunteering at Big Brothers again. That was fun.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t really have a concrete plan but, for the 3rd time in my life I\u2019m single, once at 18, again at 23 and now at 27. I usually stay single for a year or two before dating again and that\u2019s just how it\u2019ll go. There\u2019s no big epiphany at this time other than living expenses going up. Maybe this writing is just me rambling but it\u2019s nice to put things out there for you all. Thanks for reading this blog. I really appreciate it.<\/p>\n<p>I think Elizabeth is going to do really great things. She\u2019s so smart and so driven to really shine at her job and in life. I\u2019m proud of her for this move and the last 3.5 years has been a great time in my life. I\u2019m happy we shared a path for a short time and, as with all of my ex GFs, I look forward to having coffee with her in Denver next time I\u2019m there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When people know me through this blog, there\u2019s a lot of daily moments that are lost and I&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_custom_appearance":"","csco_disable_excerpt_posts_layout":false,"csco_page_load_nextpost":"","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_location_hash":"","csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4015","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-life","7":"cs-entry","8":"cs-video-wrap"},"apple_news_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pb3IC4-12L","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5834,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2016\/05\/30\/linked-a-social-life-social-media-depression\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":0},"title":"Linked: &#8220;A Social Life &#8211; Social Media Depression&#8221;","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"May 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"via YouTube: Are you living the life that you post? A Social Life is a short film about a career driven woman named Meredith who's living the life she's always dreamed of... online. Meredith strives to live a balanced life: staying fit, working hard and connecting with her friends; she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Linked&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Linked","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/linked\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4501,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2015\/02\/20\/the-life-aquatic-with-steve-zissou-shoes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":1},"title":"The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou Shoes","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"February 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"After watching the movie again, I decided it was a fine time to finally acquire the shoes featured in the film. Luckily, some 3rd parties have capitalized on this. Red Beanie and shoes acquired. I just need one of those blue work-suits with \u201cNed\u201d written on the chest and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Projects&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Projects","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/projects\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou Shoes - Adidas","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7296\/16592732322_0d021dba1f_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7296\/16592732322_0d021dba1f_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7296\/16592732322_0d021dba1f_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4252,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2014\/09\/17\/life-four-years\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":2},"title":"Life: Four Years","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"September 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019ll keep this one short because I can\u2019t say a lot about my job publicly but in the essence of posterity, I wanted to post to this blog that I\u2019ve now been at TomTom for four years. Not a huge career achievement considering my life expectancy but it is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Life","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4190,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2014\/08\/06\/life-lol\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":3},"title":"Life: LOL","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"August 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Yes, This is dog","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Life","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"6 this is dog","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/adam-jackson.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/6.-this-is-dog.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":49,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2009\/02\/09\/less\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":4},"title":"\u2605 Less","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"February 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday, @caroline posted this tweet. and it says, \"@jack's life lessons on my fridge. (*^.^*)\" I copied the life lessons below and printed them out for my fridge but I thought the life lessons were simply fantastic and it's good to know I'm doing a few of these already. JACK\u2019S\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Life","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3172,"url":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/2011\/10\/05\/the-new-american-dream\/","url_meta":{"origin":4015,"position":5},"title":"\u2605 &#8220;The New American Dream&#8221;","author":"Adam Chandler","date":"October 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"People's Economist: In many ways we are victims of our own success. We wanted bigger and by almost any measure we got it. But what exactly is it that we got? A higher standard of living? Standard of living is a quantitative measure often expressed as GDP per capita. But\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Linked&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Linked","link":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/category\/linked\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4015"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4015\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adamchandler.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}