Spending five days in Austin for SXSW Interactive was a mental and physical beating. It wasn\u2019t Iron Man but the networking and party hopping does take its toll on you to the point where I was becoming anti-social on the last day. I made an observation that hasn\u2019t crossed my mind before which is how people introduce or recognize their relationships with others. It\u2019s important to know people, have strong business connections and be \u201cin the know\u201d but how we classify those relationships is very intriguing and maybe we can rethink the word choice on these relationships.<\/p>\n
In conversation, when John is talking to Jim and in the middle of John\u2019s story about this new company, he says, \u201cI\u2019m thinking of bringing on x because of their work in x. You know right?\u201d Jim responds back with one of the following lines:<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve heard of him\/her.
\nI know of him\/her.
\nYeah, we\u2019ve met.
\nYeah, we\u2019re friends.
\nYeah, we\u2019re good friends.
\nYeah we worked together at x and it was great.
\nNo I don\u2019t know who that is.<\/p>\n
If you attend a few professional networking events, this is exactly how the conversation goes. John didn\u2019t truly care who Jim knew but naturally if John was working with this person, everyone had to know who it is. Now Jim is in the situation of responding on one of the above ways because he has to say something and sometimes lying is the best way to help this conversation come to a end so they can both move on with the rest of John\u2019s story.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like to challenge a couple of things in this method in hopes that a few people can resolve this awkwardness. First of all, very rarely are you \u201cfriends\u201d with someone. I hear \u201cGood Friends\u201d used the most out of all of these and I think that\u2019s usually inaccurate. I know a ton of people in my field and I might have 5 people that I would consider friends. I\u2019m very picky about who I consider a friend. For example, there\u2019s a guy in tech who I have great respect for, we travel in the same circles and I can imagine watching football at his place on a Sunday afternoon. However, I don\u2019t think a 3AM phone call when I\u2019m drunk and need a ride is a reality with this guy so therefore we\u2019re not friends.<\/p>\n
So that\u2019s the first point. Let\u2019s be more careful with how we label acquaintances. Right now, that\u2019s all it is and reserve friendship status for people that you feel are actual friends.<\/p>\n
The second thing I wanted to mention is how I make this situation never happen by never asking the kind of questions that I ask. For example, I\u2019ll tell a story and say, \u201cYeah I\u2019m working with \u201cJohn Smith of company XYZ on this new project\u201d and then continue my story. If it\u2019s someone well known, they generally throw in a, \u201cyeah I know that guy\u201d and that\u2019s it. I never forced them into an awkward situation of saying that they know that person or that they\u2019re \u201cgood friends\u201d because the person feels challenged. I just proved that I\u2019m better than them or at least equals and they\u2019re now saying, \u201cbest friends forever\u201d to make sure they look equal in my eyes. It\u2019s freaking stupid and it is purely mind games between two people.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re explaining your project, don\u2019t force someone to answer that they know a certain person and don\u2019t fall victim to saying how close you are with someone just because you feel entitled to be one of the cool kids. I\u2019ll say it right now. I don\u2019t know nearly enough people and I usually work with people you\u2019ve never heard of before because they\u2019re cheaper, nicer and dedicated partners. I then save you the stress of figuring out if you know someone I\u2019m working with. Everyone is happy and on a nice clean slate. This is how conversations should be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Spending five days in Austin for SXSW Interactive was a mental and physical beating. 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