I didn’t re-read or edit this post. This is usually how I write. It’s 1,696 words (4 pages) but I encourage young people of all ages to take time and read this. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Just yesterday I was waiting for an ATM in downtown San Francisco and a man cut in line in front of me. I couldn’t tell if he was homeless or was just wrapping up a long day as a painter or carpenter. I politely said, “excuse me, the line is back there.” See, I generally leave a healthy bit of room between myself and the person at the ATM for their peace of mind but also because foot traffc is crazy and people generally walk right through the gap on their way to a destination. This man must have thought I was not in line.
He turned around, a late 40s male with unbrushed long hair on his head and face, an open button down shirt and torn jeans and began yelling at me. My assumptions of his poor mental health were confirmed when after 3 words mumbled from his mouth, he blamed me for the death of Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. I stood stron, merely turning to the side and pointed to the back of the line. As he continued mumbling I merely repeated myself and he simply walked off still mumbling about my hatred of the Jews.
It was then that I realized that was the first “for no reason” altercation I had been in for a long time. For a brief moment, I remembered being in school and being picked on. It took many years for me to stand up for what I believed in and either ignore or challenge others who were bullying me. It’s also amazing to analyze the perspective and just how big things seem at this time in our lives. Today, my credit card bills seem insane and something I could never fathom paying off. For the record I have $3,200 in debt that I accumulated moving to San Francsio last year. My sister who I spoke to last night was discussing a fight she had been in with a kid at school and despite the fact it was a push-pull kinda fight (no punches) she talked it up like The Battle of Williamsburg.
It was this that inspired me to post something up that spoke to the young people. I believe that another class of teens just graudated from high school and it’s inspiring but also great to know that life is so fragile, in constant motion and there are always lessons to learn. The experience with the man at the ATM opened my eyes because I haven’t been in a fight like that (a no reason fight) since I was in 7th grade. Kids think fights are so big but it’s not really a big deal. Fights happen, someone wins and then life continues. What’s beautiful about fighting is for that brief moment you’re truly observing, living and obsessing over someone’s actions. The blood leaves your limbs and goes to your chest, your pupils sharpen and your ears hear nothing as they tighten to prepare for the blows to the head.
Humans are in need of conflict. It’s a basic animalistic instinct so what happens as adults when there are no schoolyards to fight in? Well, we move to the courtyard, board rooms and bars. We simply change the setting, put on more adult-like clothes and hostile company takeovers become the new means of fighting. There are many things that change when you become an adult that affect your life differently. Failing to turn in homework as a kid means a zero for that assignment, failing to turn in tax forms, business licenses or utility bills results in jail, penalities or no electricity in your home. A failure to go to work isn’t like missing school, losing your job is different than being suspended and missing work means you won’t get a raise next year.
What’s amazing about my point of view is not that adulthood is any more challenging than childhood. I’ve been guilty, just like every other adult by telling my kid sisters (the oldest turns 13 next month) that they want to remain kids as long as they can but that’s unfair to them for a few reasons. The first is that time stands still for no one and the circle continues. Time is all relative to the beholder as inifinite factors affect your view & outlook on life. These factors change every second and things like your lifespan, travel time from point A-B at 60MPh or the time it takes for hot coffee to balance and hit room temperature. Each of these factors shapes and affects your view on time and life.
As a child, time is less important as time is perceived so much differently and only enters your consciousness when it’s time to leave the park or time to go to sleep. As a chile, I robbed myself of the potential fun I could have had by always being mindful of time. When I was 12, one of my Dad’s students was a psychic and we had just met. She focused her eyes, covered my watch and asked if I knew what time it was. I replied back with some arbitrary number like “6:32” and after revealing my watch, I was right and hadn’t looked at my watch in over an hour. She said, “your perception of time is very accute for a person of your age. You’ll never be late for a meeting, miss a deadline and you’ll be a workaholic. Time will get the best of you and you will often be miserable as time will always get the best of you.”
At the age of 12, I didn’t really know what she meant and now I do. Time has done that to me as I often find myself regretting some of my decisions to work too much and not enjoy my childhood but everyday I wake up and don’t change my way of life. I meet so many young people in the bay area who are workaholics at the age of 14 just as I was. I hvae no regrets for the path I’ve chosen and everyday I’m proud of my success as a high shool graduate with a 2.3 GPA who moved across the country to take on the big city. At the same time, there’s more to life than work and I want the best for today’s kids and I hope they’ll grow, explore and learn without going to work at a young age.
The path of life is interesting as well. Everyone is on a different path but, as my Father taught as a young age, every movement is a ripple in the water that affects everyone. As a human, it’s natural to be self-absorbed and self-serving and don’t worry, we all do it but I’ve tried to be mindful of others while still being successful and what I’ve learned about success is that it’s the most challenging aspect I’ve experienced in life. Moving across country was easy, finding the most amazing woman was easy and making enough money to get by is always easy but sucess is more than work, it’s the responsbility that comes with it.
When you become successful, you give up a piece of yourself. Everyone loves hearing a success story and as I succeed in more projects, I’ve had to bring on a new responsiblity of recognition which means more people following your every word. I’m not a celebrity and I’m glad because every opinion, thought post and move is criticized by a few dozen people. It grows every week. Also, making money can be easy but when you make money, the more tempted you are to take bigger risks for higher returns and I’m very guilty of making money and losing it on a bigger and better project. I need to step more carefully on this.
As you grow older, breathe more, learn more and explore more. Never stop exploring. I was speaking to a friend that works for himself, he’s 25 years old and travels a lot. He’s not wildly succesful but he makes enough money to spend half of his year traveling. It’s interesting to hear of his travels but also of his advice. He’s told me countless times that travel and exploring doesn’t shape you any way because of where you go. Going anywhere but where your home is can affect you enough to realize home, family, friends and stability is what makes life so amazing. A month in Ireland can be a fun experience but returning home is more rewarding than the trip itself. Remember that as you grow older and want to move out of the house, do something spontaneous and have zero responsibilities. It sounds interesting and fun but it can be tiring and actually age you before your time. Wisdom is one thing but age is another.
When I felt inspired to write this, there was a song playing on my headphones that came on as the man at the ATM walked away, it was a hip hop song that was playing. Why is it that hip hop always inspires me like this? Most of the songs are about the struggle. It’s about the human struggle and rapping about life and someone that’s on the bottom and reaches the top. This is what life is all about. Even the rich and powerful have daily struggles just as much as those of us that would be homeless if we missed a single paycheck. That’s life and it’s those that persevere that are applauded, not because it’s impossible to rise above and succeed but because the responsibility that comes with it sometimes is too much.
The only way you can rise above the hardships and pain is to remember where you came from and always be sure of where you’re going but never, ever stand still because when you do, that’s the moment life stops and just as a still pond grows algae, our spirits will grow sour every moment that you sit still.
Good luck kids. The next stage of your life is going to be amazing, beautiful and challenging but know that everything you do affects everything in the universe and with that, now go change the world.